- Having many children - why do people decide on this?
I never thought that I would be a woman with many children.
As a child, I did not have a large family, my mother was engaged in my upbringing. Mom worked a lot, I remember I was often lonely and, of course, I dreamed of “getting” myself a brother or sister. Probably, this loneliness left its mark, because already in my girlish dreams I planned to have at least two children (necessarily a boy and a girl).
Two children fit perfectly into my idea of a full-fledged family, but I could not imagine that there would be four children.
They are all my favorites and I love them so much! My eldest daughter's name is Lenochka, she is already 24 years old, she is quite large and independent, now she is starting (I hope) her own family.
The son's name is Vanyushka, he turned 18 in April. At the moment, he is engaged in the fact that he is trying to defend my rights to independence from me.
The "little" girls' names are Masha and Nastya. Masha is 7 years old, she is in the first grade, Nastyulya is 4 years old, she is wearing “housekeeping”.
- easy or hard to be large family in Voronezh?
It is not easy to be a large family in any city, I mean not only the presence of financial difficulties. Voronezh, unfortunately, is no exception. The family budget has to be planned very carefully so that there is enough for everything. In addition, every child wants parental attention, and this is the time. Well, everyday housekeeping, of course, brings its share of trouble.
Although we moved to the suburbs a few years ago, we now have our own house by the river. The house is old, but we love it very much. And we also have a real bathhouse and a small garden, the work in which pleases only me so far. But I am patiently waiting for the younger "gardeners" to grow up.
How is a typical family day going?
Yes, just like in ordinary families just a little more worries.
If there is, we cook, so “bucket”, but after all, what assistants I have are growing up. They will already wash the dishes and help prepare dinner: they cut vegetables like real chefs. Mashunya brings such order in her room, the elders envy.
It happens that guests come to all the children at once (especially in summer) - then the house becomes a little noisy, but very fun. I like this fuss, because I dreamed of a big cheerful family.
-How do the children themselves feel about the fact that there are a lot of them?
Children, in my opinion, do not attach any importance to this and perceive our "collective farm" as absolutely normal. Younger girls, for example, adore their older sister, she is an indisputable authority for them, imitate her in everything: they copy her walk, manner of dressing and talking. And she, in turn, always drags them a whole bag of gifts, my husband and I are very pleased with her care for little sisters.
The elders also live quite amicably among themselves, the son often comes to Lena with his secrets, which he does not want to entrust to me.
The main thing in a large family is “one for all and all for one”, then the family will always live in love and joy. Therefore, my husband and I try to raise our children in such a way that there are as few grounds for quarrels as possible: for example, greed, injustice in relationships, any kind of division are strictly suppressed in our family, but, on the contrary, the slightest concern for each other is very welcome.
We, as parents, are worried about financial difficulties, and, of course, we would not want one of the children to regret that he was from a large family due to the lack of some material benefits.
They say it is difficult with one child, with two it is easier, and with three or more it is already quite simple. This is true?
It's not about the number of children, but about the attitude of parents to children. We believe that the child should be given more freedom, but always with a reasonable amount of control, then they grow up quite independent and responsible. For example, since the age of ten, Vanyushka has been taking care of his younger sisters: first Marusya, and then Nastenka, and we always boldly trusted him with girls, knowing that he would feed them and look after them.
The younger ones can already be a serious help in cleaning the house. And, of course, there are difficulties! There are enough of them with one, but here there are four - yes, each with its own character, so everything happens: both small quarrels and big conflicts. My husband and I always try to resolve them fairly, for example, the title of junior never gave us privileges. A respectful attitude towards everyone at once, but it also carries responsibility. Even a toddler has to follow their own little rules.
- Having many children - what is more in this, happiness or problems?
How many problems, so much happiness, even more. You know how happy I am when we get together as a family. I would like to hope that the children also have a good time together.
The biggest concern of a mother of many children: the more children, the more experiences for them, and they are so different and there are so many of them, the head is spinning. Vanya, for example, now transitional age, often hard to find mutual language, of course, I worry about how he will manage his life.
Lena is “building” her family, she wants everything to turn out well for her.
With little ones, there are fewer problems, the main concern is to feed and kiss on time.
- Does the state help you?
The state helps only low-income large families. It so happened that our family is a little short of this “honorary” title, and we have to rely on our own strength.
Of course, assistance should be sufficient, but if necessary, the state should help all large families, then there will be much more of them in our country.
Of course, we do not starve, but, for example, it is very difficult to go on vacation or go somewhere with the whole family to relax on the weekend, because even more than a thousand rubles will have to be spent on movie tickets! There is still an opinion among the people: "Than to produce poverty, it is better to bring up one in abundance." Therefore, many parents do not even dare to have two children, let alone three or more.
But, in turn, I want to say: no amount of money, dear daddies and mommies, can replace the feeling of that happiness when four pairs of your favorite children's arms hug you at the same time.
Galina Mikhailovna Chizhik is a mother of many children, a pretty woman and a good conversationalist. She has a sense of humor, without unnecessary coquetry, she answers all questions. It is interesting to communicate with her, and some of the facts given by her are simply shocking. Such as, life situations with letters. But first things first.
- Galina Mikhailovna, the issue of the newspaper will be published on the eve of Mother's Day, so the question is immediately - how many children do you have?
Four of my sons, two adopted, in the end six, but all mine.
- Some kind of complex arithmetic, the result confuses me, so explain yourself what's what.
Everything is very simple. Valery, Vitaly, Seryozha and Dima are my sons, and Alexander and Pavel are the sons of my second husband. They were 11 and 9 years old when they were left without a mother. I became their mother, and they became my children.
- Are you a Luninchanka?
I am from the Minsk region. She studied at the Smilovichi Agricultural College. In 1969, she ended up in Luninets due to the fact that she married a guy from the village of Flerovo. I knew him for two days, and on the third we were already married.
- What a twist! How so? It's very prompt.
In fact, we had a year and a half correspondence with him. The girls of that time had such a fashion, to write to the soldiers. So I wrote a letter to the army, to the first person I met, as they say. He answered, a correspondence began. He even sent me a photo. Didn't like it, tore up the card and threw it away. He then wrote, they say, return the photo, but there is nothing to return. After his demobilization from the army, they met and signed on the third day of a real acquaintance. In reality, it turned out better than in that photo.
- Galina Mikhailovna, were you happy in that marriage?
Certainly. I loved him, how not to love - we have four sons. The husband dreamed of a daughter. When I was pregnant with my third, they told me that, most likely, there would be a girl, but fate decreed otherwise. We lived like everyone else at that time. They worked and raised children. I worked first on a collective farm as a livestock specialist. And after the first maternity leave, she got a job at the KBO. She was a knitter, then a master, then a warehouse manager. She worked there for 30 years. Husband, Adam Nikolaevich, worked as an electrician, long time was a master of industrial training in the 146th school. He passed away 26 years ago. He was sick a lot, he had kidney problems, everything was enough for him and me ...
In addition to your husband’s illness, what difficulties did you have to face in life, it was probably difficult to raise boys?
I have never had any problems with boys. The guys grew up obedient, everyone knew the range of their duties around the house, they were not excellent students at school, but everyone studied well. We had everything "sorted out". Now my daughters-in-law are “ladies” for such husbands. I taught them everything, they can do everything, they even do “seasoning”. But seriously, they are like daughters to me and are grateful that I raised such sons. We had a problem with housing. The line for the apartment moved slowly. We were waiting for the fourth, and we have a living space of 15 square meters. We went to the district executive committee, but all to no avail. And then I dared to write a letter to Valentina Tereshkova. The world's first female cosmonaut was then vice-president of the Women's International Democratic Federation, a member of the World Peace Council and a member of the Central Committee of the CPSU.
Blimey! And how did Tereshkova react to your letter, did it even reach the addressee, did Valentina Tereshkova answer you?
Got it. Moreover, Tereshkova's response was sent to the Luninets District Executive Committee and we were immediately allocated a four-room apartment.
- Galina Mikhailovna, who did your children become?
Valera graduated from a military school in Kaliningrad, Vitaly entered the Brest Polytechnic, but dropped out. Then he studied to be an agronomist, but he does not work in his specialty - he serves in a military unit. Seryozha is a musician, he served in Kaliningrad, in the orchestra of the Baltic Fleet, then graduated from a university with a degree in veterinary medicine. Dmitry graduated from the military academy in Minsk. Sasha and Pavel studied at the Luninets schools, received professions, and are working.
- Are your sons friendly, do they maintain relations with each other?
Well, they are brothers. Both ours and the adoptive ones are friends, there is not much difference between them and no one says that they are ours, but these are the adoptive ones. They all talk to each other like family. Support each other, help in everything. They constantly call me, they come on vacation, they bring children for vacation. I already have six grandchildren.
- Galina Mikhailovna, did you have any influence on your guys in choosing life partners?
In no case. I was put before the fact, that's all. I did not choose my daughters-in-law, but I respected their choice, so I accepted them as my daughters.
- How did your personal life develop after the death of your husband?
I was alone for eight years, but then I met one man. This is Nikolai Aleksandrovich Lazarevich. We have been with him for 18 years.
- What do you do in your free time, they say that pensioners have a lot of it?
It is not true. There is almost no time left. We have a dacha in Yazhevki. There is a large farm there - piglets, turkeys, two dogs, two cats ... Everyone needs to be given attention, everyone needs to be taken care of. So you don't get bored.
- Besides housework, what do you like to do?
I am a very active person, I communicate a lot with people - both live and virtually. I mastered the computer, I communicate with friends in in social networks. I even go to the pool sometimes. She learned to swim at the age of 60. In general, I enjoy life, no matter what. Sometimes I visit sanatoriums. I work a lot, I move a lot. Life is Beautiful.
- Do you have a dream?
Once they dreamed of a daughter, then of an apartment. Now I want everyone to be healthy - children, daughters-in-law, grandchildren ...
Galina Mikhailovna, you are a wonderful wife, mother and grandmother. We congratulate you on the holiday - Mother's Day! Let your life be as active and eventful, bring only joy and pleasure. What can you say to women, mothers?
Do not be afraid to give birth, children are wonderful. And I wish you all good health, and to receive as many positive emotions from life as possible.
Pwhy is a large family such a rarity today , why society is often even aggressive in relation to large families , whatsuch a perfect family and aboutsecretOheducationin an interview, Maria Bubnova, the mother of four children, tells.
- Tell me, please, what is a family, from your point of view, and what should it be?
— Familyis a married union of loving spouses and children, which is a single living organism. Husband- the head of the family wife out of love (if you love a person, you are afraid to offend, upset him, you want to do everything so that there is love, peace, God's blessing in the family) obeys and helps him, children obey their parents, understanding that disobedience leads to serious consequences. Even here, in the family, grandparents are included - as the most wise people in life. Parents learn to respect them. D I’m going with my grandmother to the joy of my grandchildren, and the grandchildren themselves are also happy with their attention to them - reading books in the evenings, playing checkers, words ...
- Please tell us about your children. Are they similar or completely different?
— Everything mothers of many children They will say that the children in their families are different. Outwardly similar, but in character ... Everyone has different temperaments: the eldest is sanguine, the second is melancholic, the third is choleric, the fourth is sanguine. We my husband and I noticed one interesting feature: the character of the child develops during pregnancy! Here are examples: I wore the eldest in my last year of study, passed exams, defended my diploma. It was easy for me, joyful, it was the first year of marriage. And the daughter’s character has developed like this - cheerful, dreamy, she loves to learn, invent ...
I was afraid to give birth to the second, remembering what mi The first birth was difficult. She prayed a lot, was closed and reserved. And the second daughter was born serious, self-sufficient.
I spent my third pregnancy in training camps - we moved from the city to the village. She collected everything, gave it away, then took it apart in a new place, with overflowing energy she mastered the village, the garden ...And the third turned out to be the most energetic in the family, easy to communicate, economic!
Is external realization important for a woman?
— Probably, yes - but in a small dose. For the first three years I worked as a teacher, then I went on a long-term maternity leave. When I gave birth to my third child, I was asked to quit my job. For 13 years family life I run the household And I work at home. All my children did not go and do not go to kindergarten. At first, I was a little uncomfortable that I didn’t go to work. But the husband said: “I earn enough money, we have everything we need at home. You don’t go anywhere, stay close to the children, they need your love…” I agree with him.
Now I realize myself in reading books and a little bit on the Internet - talking with friends, typing a little Orthodox stories I learn new information on the topic of my work.
- What is more important for children - material security or care and love of parents, sisters and brothers?
— I asked this question to the children (except for the fourth, he is not yet three years old), and they all immediately answered: “Love of parents and for each other!”
It seems to me that all the children in the world want one - love. But not all parents listen to them ...
- Do life guidelines change with the advent of a large family?
— I guess it's yes. When we had little kidsand we lived in the city, we were drawn to the village. But in her we faced problems: education for children (there are no clubs, music and art schools, the nearest general education school closed completely), with a lack of money, the implementation to her myself. It is easier for families with many children to live in the city, but at the same time you lose: proximity to nature and, accordingly, a more calm, healthy, working rhythm of life ...
- How do you spend your free time, if such is given out, do you want to take a break from family worries?
— Approximately once a year, in the summer, we go to rest in the Crimea or Abkhazia at sea. What a great vacation for the whole family! And so, once a month we try to visit a museum or a concert, an exhibition ... We went to the puppet theater with the kids. If the children don't get sick (something the flu brought down everyone...), I try to walk with them either in the park or on the playground. On children's birthdays, holidays, we invite other large families and arrange games, competitions ...
- Are there any problems that do not arise in a family with many children?
— I think that children in a normal large family will not have egoism. How can egoism manifest itself here if several children in a family learn to yield to each other, to ask for forgiveness, to forgive, to share, to ima th ... It's hard for one child assimilate th. And here is the daily school!
Also, children probably don't have much free time.: everyone takes turns washing the dishes, cleaning something, cleaning, I I also give tasks to embroider something, on draw, they go to a music school...Children in large families understand the value of time and work.
There is learning from older children. The younger ones will immediately learn to walk on the pot, and read, draw, play fun, looking at the elders ...
There is also a feeling of "elbow" - children go to school together, leave it together. The younger ones start to miss the older ones. And how happy those children who stay at home - you can play, work out with your pet - a baby ...
There is no danger of excessive hyperopia in a large family e ki - a lot of children, here you need to have time to pay attention to everyone e...
Children from large families are more independent, sociable, with experience in managing younger children.
- We saw photos where you bake cookies with your children: this is how you do it together. Do you have any parenting secrets?
As in any Orthodox family - obedience, work and prayer. But above - love, attention to each child. We pray together in the morning: each child in turn reads "King of Heaven", " Holy Trinity» and other prayers, called s in ae t his patron saint,godparents, asks about health and wellness. I have evening rule- reading the Psalter, and the children help me. Morning prayer calms and streamlines the day, gives strength, and the Psalter (ancient Slavic text) develops memory well, drives away despondency, demons.
We fast together at home, we go to church every Sunday.
- Your children are fond of needlework, they work in various techniques: beading, appliqué, embroidery. Does such an occupation have children of some developing andeducational potential?
All this develops attention, perseverance (my youngest doesn’t really like to sit ...), imagination (you have to choose the color, pattern yourself), artistic taste, motor skills, the ability to use a needle, pencil, scissors ... There is another feature - we give crafts, and the children rejoice the fact that they can do something with their own hands and give it to someone they love: godparents, friends, other family members, teacher pits...
What is the ideal family?
For us, the ideal family is the royal family of Nicholas II and Alexandra. Their children were so pure, beautiful, friendly, merciful (three girls were sisters of mercy), cheerful! And how they all loved each other! And their mother - Alexandra Fedorovna endlessly surprises me with her self-sacrifice - she had neuralgia of the face, periodically lay in bed, could not get up due to leg pain, but - overpowered herself. She gave all of herself to the family, to the people (along with doctors, she worked in the hospital, often not even going to bed at night; she gave her and children's crafts to everyone who surrounded them, organized charitable societies, schools and shelters ...).
- Why do you think a large family is such a rarity today?
— People do not want to sacrifice themselves, they are afraid of losing their free time, entertainment, peace, they do not know that the more children in the family, the more the Lord will give joy!
- And why do you think society is often even aggressive in relation to large families?
— It seems to me that people envy those with many children - they are not like everyone else, they do not commit a terrible sin - abortion, work, sacrifice themselves. But most of them can't! Children are God's gift, God's blessing. Many do not understand this, they believe that life is a pleasure. And God will have to give an answer - have you lived your life correctly, have you done good to someone? Did he raise his children well, did he truly love them?
A large family is a reproach to the egoism of the lonely, who somehow, willy-nilly, have to justify themselves. At least in front of your conscience!
— Thanks for the interesting answers Maria. God bless your family.
) is already expecting her eighth child, we learned in an unusual way - from Sibmama's blogs, where her pregnancy became the subject of a lively discussion.
Is it not difficult to give birth for several years in a row, is it possible to pay attention to so many babies at once and still work, and indeed “why so much?”, We decided to find out from the mother of many children.
- Zinaida, is a big family your old dream? Was your husband immediately your like-minded person?
Of course, there was no such dream. Even just to think about this 15 years ago, I could not, I thought that there would be three. I myself am from a large family: there were just three of us, and I am the third, so for me it was the norm. The husband also did not think about such a large number of children ... but it's hard to think about it in advance!
” - We never planned the number of children, we were just always ready for the results of married life. Now we have seven children: Pasha is 11 years old, Sonya is 10, Vova is 8, Dasha is 4, Sasha is 3, Zakhar is 2, and Nadia is only 11 months old.
They are all different, - says Zina. - The eldest Pasha is kind and sympathetic, my assistant, very caring. Sonya is wayward, with strong character but lazy! Vova is very responsible and meticulous, Dasha is a kind, sweetest girl, Sasha ... well, he just collected the whole emotional spectrum in himself! Zakhar is direct, stubborn, even treacherous, but Nadya is still the queen for everyone.
- Zina, did you feel the difference between a “one-child” and, say, a “five-child” mother?
The feeling of motherhood changed, of course. Experience comes, and then wisdom! Here's maternal wisdom, if you're lucky, sometimes it comes both with age and with children. It gradually began to come to me from the fourth child, at least I believe in it. But with every child you learn something new: to show love, patience, care, indulgence somewhere, you don’t escalate, you don’t invent problems, but you solve real ones, as they come, you don’t look into the future, but live here and now.
Many sibms are surprised that your children have such a small difference in age, but, nevertheless, you are in excellent physical shape. How do you do it?
My health allows me, I don’t understand why this should surprise anyone at all! I don’t do anything specifically for health and figure, I don’t go in for sports, I don’t adhere to a certain nutrition system, but I don’t eat everything in a row, it’s definitely harmful.
Mothers of many children communicate on our forum, but, as a rule, the difference in children is greater: the youngest is a newborn, and the eldest is already a student. Your children are close in age and have similar needs. Is it possible to give each individual attention?
It turns out! Of course, taking into account their characters: someone needs more attention, someone less ... I balance. Similar needs rather make my task easier, it turns out to please everyone.
“When I look at Nadya, and she is always smiling at me, when Dasha can kiss my hand for no reason and say that she loves, when Vovchik hugged me today, when I coughed hard, when Pasha can kiss me in the morning when I sleep , thinking that I don’t feel, but I feel when Sasha can bring a blanket and cover my legs, just like that, when Zakharik is impregnable, he can come up from behind and hug my neck, and Sonya constantly comes up for a kiss, when her in her opinion, “the battery is dead” ... It seems that she didn’t forget anyone? In general, whatever one may say, I know - this is love! (from instagram @zinaiost)
You have a creative profession. Do you arrange a “vacation to care for a child”, or immediately get involved in work? How difficult is it for a mother of many children to be creative - is her head full of household chores, or, on the contrary, are you happy to break away from your children and family and completely immerse yourself in shooting?
My head is never full of household chores! These are trifles that are solved simply, without global deliberations. There was never a vacation, a maximum of the first month. I calmly plunge into work. Of course, there are difficulties, especially in photo processing. I can allocate time for this only at night, when everyone is sleeping, so I changed the types of filming a bit to make it easier for me and the client is satisfied. Experience helps to do everything quickly, although sometimes there is no time even for this “quickly”. But I always try to optimize the process.
A large family is associated with a housewife mother, the keeper of the family hearth. You are a modern working woman. Do you have family traditions, for example, New Year's?
For me, a modern working mother may well be at the same time the keeper of the hearth. This is true! I worked, I came, and let's host, then I cooked a meal, here's a cozy hearth for you.
” - Everything can be combined, it would be for someone! Children stimulate a lot, otherwise I would definitely be a lazy mistress, there is a weakness ...
We celebrate the New Year at home, and there is always red caviar on bread and butter ... This is definitely our tradition, even mine, from my childhood.
How do you manage to take care of children, housework and work? Is someone helping you? What do you consider obligatory, and what is desirable, if you have enough time and energy?
We do not have assistants and nannies, my husband and I manage on our own. Of course, I don’t do much around the house (and I would like to!), But the world has not yet collapsed from the fact that I don’t hang wet linen on time or don’t make my bed. The main thing is to correctly prioritize: husband, children, and then everything else. And it's easier, easier to deal with difficulties!
“Starting from the third child, I teach my children to fall asleep immediately in the crib after eating. I breastfeed until about three months old and have been bottle training since then! Next, we begin to train the habit: a crib, a bottle, that means sleep! Let's create a tradition. But this is all taking into account the fact that the child is healthy and nothing bothers him: he ate, played, should sleep. Now Nadia will play enough, I take her to bed. If she ate before, then just with a pacifier, if she ate for a long time, then I bring the bottle, she holds it herself and falls asleep. I don’t sit next to me, give the bottle and say “that’s it, go to sleep” and it works. The pacifier is always for sleeping. And why only with the third child? Because before that we lived with my mother, and for her rocking the crib is her favorite pastime, even when the child does not want to sleep. (from instagram @zinaiost)
Many women, having become mothers, complain that they seem to have been “turned off” from life - now interests are too different with former friends, there is too little mobility. Don't you have that feeling?
I'm not complaining about anything, everything suits me! Real friends are not going anywhere, no one has taken away my mobility yet, and I don’t want to get out somewhere at all. On the contrary, all the time pulls home.
In families with several children, the elders often help the parents. How do you organize the life of older children in the family? What are their household responsibilities?
Help is normal, even in a large family, even in a small family. Helping someone who needs your help is the foundation of the foundations of whom we will educate, if we do not lay down the main thing - to be kind and sympathetic. The elders help, and they also divide the younger ones who will play with whom. The main thing we teach is to at least clean up after ourselves: things, dishes from the table ... No excessive labor, as, by the way, in Soviet times: cooking, washing, cleaning, ironing - I do everything myself. At most, I can ask things to be pulled out of washing machine, vacuum. Collecting toys is a duty for everyone, the quality, however, is still suffering ... But it's okay, they will learn!
Do your children go to school, kindergartens? How are relations with educational institutions developing - do you have to do lessons with children, for example?
They go to kindergartens, to school too, we help to do lessons from time to time, but we don’t stand over our souls. We teach responsibility! Not all of them have been successful so far, but we are trying to set an example.
- You are very famous as an insta mom. What is your brand on a social network for you?
From the very beginning, I created a page to show our life. When there were only three more children, someone asked, “Zina, show more kids!”. And I, without any special plans for the future, just filmed how my children live, because why take pictures if you don’t want to show it? Gradually, the blog became more saturated, new readers began to appear, who said that my page gives them strength and confidence. Someone decides on the first, someone on the fourth, someone refuses to have an abortion, seeing our life ... I think it was already worth creating a blog for this, wasting time and effort. And I like it, for me it's a pleasure. A blog is definitely not a replenishment of the lack of communication, not an escape from the routine - it is a part of real life.
- Do you have a thought now: “Well, the 8th (10th, 15th) child is the limit, no more”?
I don't put the question that way, I never have. We don't know anything about tomorrow at all. If I think about the future, then only about the good, no fears.
” - 11 years ago, before the birth of my first child, I could not imagine that I could love so many children at the same time and at the same time they would all be mine. So the 8th, 9th ... there is no limit to motherly love!
Interviewed by Irina Ilyina
Title photo by Elena Berezhneva (edited by Z. Iost)
When it comes to having many children, many can say this: “My great-grandmother raised ten and nothing!” But these days, nevertheless, large families are a rather rare phenomenon. The old families are very different from the current ones. In modern large families, the main burden of education falls on only two people - mom and dad.
How do spouses decide on many children? How do you plan your time and distribute responsibilities? Where do they get strength? How does the family spend their leisure time?
We present to your attention an interview with mothers of large families. All of them are young, successful, beautiful women. All of them break the stereotype that having many children is the lot of representatives of a low social level. All of them are happy to talk about themselves, give helpful tips, share their optimism and happiness with us.
Ekaterina
: 35 years. Before the birth of children, she worked as the head of the project management department in an IT company. After the birth of her third child, she opened a small toy store with her husband. Three children: son Leo, 6.5 years old - a future first grader. Daughters Alexandra, 4 years old and Daria, 1.5 years old. He dreams of moving from Moscow to the Moscow region to his own house, which is currently under construction.
Inga: 31 year. Worked as the manager of a dental clinic. Three daughters: Angelica, who will turn 10 in July, Milana 2.4 and Diana 9 months. Dreaming of a son.
Have you always dreamed of having many children? What family are you from?
Ekaterina: Never! I had an older sister and we fought all the time. That's why I wanted to have just one child. And only having met her future husband, she agreed to two, and there she liked the result and we already have three!Inga: Yes, I always wanted to be a young mother and often imagined myself with three children. I only have a brother, but I also wanted a sister. But, my brother and I were always surrounded by cousins and second cousins and brothers, this created the feeling that we grew up in a large family.
Olga: Yes, I always wanted to have many children. And even now, having three, I am sure that this is not the limit. Very often I hear the phrase: "Are you a mother of many children? You can't tell by you!" She hurts my ears a lot. In society, unfortunately, it is believed that a mother of many children is a tortured, neglected, always tired, aging woman in a washed out apron. Despite the fact that today society is dominated by the opinion that large families are not prosperous, I would like to raise the prestige of large families by my personal example.
Thus, we see that future mothers had different attitudes towards having many children, but none of them regretted that she had many children. And, of course, the second half helps them to enjoy motherhood.
Do you have a mode or schedule of activities by the hour?
Ekaterina: Yes, I try to stick to a strict regimen. First, because I'm a boring perfectionist. Secondly, it is easier for children, and they are less capricious. If at 21-00 you have to go to bed, then it is already useless to ask to spit or watch a cartoon.Inga: We don't have a schedule. The eldest daughter is engaged rhythmic gymnastics, studies at a school with an English bias and at a music school. The whole family, including toddlers, adjusts to her pace, activities and workouts. Everywhere you need to be in time and be the best!
Olga: Yes, on weekdays we have a clear daily routine, dictated by daily training and other additional activities for older children. We don't stick to schedules on weekends.
We conclude that a clear regime, schedule and action plan still exists and can sometimes be formed automatically.
Does your education, profession help you in education, planning, budgeting?
Ekaterina: Certainly. Houses are even simpler, the “team” and the budget are much smaller.Inga: I am an economist by profession, but not a diploma helps me in raising children and budgeting. Rather, life experience and intuition. As well as a clear understanding of the necessary and important.
Olga: Yes, they help. Since I am a lawyer, I got used to the clarity of thoughts and actions. I demand the same from my children. We have rules in almost every act of theirs: call from school, after school, put things away, etc.
So, a profession and a diploma for a mother of many children to help.
Inga: I don't know, maybe there are such courses. I haven't been able to visit these. You should always learn to be patient. Without this, it seems to me, it is very difficult, both for a “multi-mom” and for a mother with one baby. I would love to learn the skill of "how to defeat the lazy one in yourself." Yes, I think that I would make an intelligent teacher and I could teach a lot, life experience allows: I raised my eldest daughter alone and now I have no nannies and assistants.
Olga A: I have no problem with scheduling time. But if courses for moms existed, I would like to learn how to deal with fatigue and have a more positive attitude towards problems and stressful situations. If I were invited to teach, then I would probably be able to teach young mothers how to comfortably raise a child in field conditions with the help of modern gadgets and novelties in the children's industry: feed, change clothes, put to sleep in a car and how to organize it at the same time time. After all, my third baby most she spends her life in the car while I take the elders to classes and wait until they finish studying. On average 6-8 hours a day we are not at home. But at the same time, I was able to plan our time and life with him in such a way that he could develop harmoniously in such difficult conditions for him.
From the foregoing, we see that mothers with many children did not complete special courses, but they are not averse to constantly learning and improving. They are also willing to share their experience.
Do you have a favorite book, or a website, or a consultant who you turn to in a difficult situation?
Ekaterina: When the first child was born, there was a whole selection in favorites on various issues. Now there is kukuzya.ru for legal issues and just Yandex.Inga: I have a husband and intuition! And when it’s really difficult, I ask my mother what she would have done in this or that situation.
Olga: In difficult situations, I turn to my mother. On the Internet, I love the site mnogodetok.ru. I go in order to find information that interests me, I don’t sit on the forums.
Thus, the support of loved ones is important in any situation and at any age, and a good orientation in the information space will not hurt a modern mother of many children.
What was the best piece of advice that helped you get things done? Who gave it?
Ekaterina: “A calm mother is a calm baby” and “Do all things with the children, and when they sleep, relax.” Who gave, unfortunately, I do not remember, but the words are golden!Inga: I won’t say it verbatim, but approximately the “advice” sounded like this: “Your children are needed and important only to you. And if not you, then no one else!” I don’t remember who told me this, but I know for sure that these words move me forward every day.
Olga: A few years ago, the Flylady course helped me a lot in organizing the time correctly, cleaning the house and the book "Communicate with the child HOW?", Which helped me to properly organize all family members to work in a team.
Modern mothers of many children know how to listen to advice from various sources and draw useful conclusions from them.
Do you have helpers (grandmothers, nannies, girlfriends…)?
Ekaterina: By today's standards, I'm probably generally a parasite. I have a morning nanny, an au pair, to stroke, wash the floors, take a walk with the youngest if I need to leave (take the elders to the garden, go to the store). And in the evenings, sometimes my grandmother comes to sit with the little one, so that I can take my son to mugs. My conscience does not bother me for this. I will also recommend children to involve grandmothers, nannies and assistants to the maximum, and not to drag everything on themselves, if possible.Inga: I have no assistants. In rare cases, I can leave the children with my mother. My husband and I escaped alone to the event only recently, and our youngest daughter is 9 months old. Of course, sometimes I really want to quit everything, hide in a corner and start feeling sorry for myself ... But, then I remember the “advice” and start moving on.
Olga: Not now. When I had only two children, when I reached the eldest three years old, I went to work and then the children were taken care of around the clock by a nanny living with me and a visiting housekeeper. I could devote time to children only on weekends. But the husband was categorically against such a family model. As a result, we refused both the nanny and the housekeeper to the detriment of my career growth. Now, with three kids, I can do it all by myself. We don't have grandparents around. My husband helps with cleaning on weekends.
Note that modern mothers of many children are ready to cope with their duties on their own. Each decides for herself whether she needs helpers or not. But we can recommend not to refuse help and do not forget to take time for yourself.
What is your favorite pastime when you are with the whole family? What events have you attended recently?
Ekaterina: Lie all together on the same bed and have fun. Last weekend, my dad went roller-skating with the elders. Then they all went to the game center together: they rode the carousels, played slot machines. Because The interests of the younger and the older are very different, so far it is difficult for us to combine leisure time for everyone together. But now the son and middle daughter already have common interests- Bicycle, roller skates, swimming pool.Inga: We have a lot of different favorite things to do: rollerblade, bike, scooter or play tic-tac-toe in the park. In traffic jams, we learn to count in our minds, multiply 2 and 3-digit numbers, pronounce the letters "r / l" There are a lot of hobbies, but there is very little time for this. We try to visit different places more often. Last month we were at the Circus on Tsvetnoy, at the presentation of the car, at the Tretyakov Gallery, watched a theater performance for kids, visited the Flacon Design Factory, went to KidZania, went to the Timiryazev Museum. This is not counting the various cafes and restaurants.
Olga: The last event that we visited with the whole family was the Children's Rock Festival. Every weekend we try to spend with the family in interesting place: planetarium, museum, theater, park, cinema, etc. Often in Lately We visit KidZania, the children really like it there.
Families with many children lead an energetic lifestyle, prefer active, rich pastime and recreation. Don't focus on life.
Dear mothers! Thank you for an interesting conversation and invaluable experience. To help you - our website "Children's Time". On it, you can easily and quickly find a lot of interesting offers for your large and uneven-age family.
And at the end - a quiz.
Finish the sentence:1. The most important thing in raising children is ...
- love and patience!
- love!
- patience!
2. From a husband and father in a large family, first of all, it is required ...
- excerpt;
- patience.
- learn to be interchangeable with mom;
3. If you had a magic wand, then I would ...
- I wished that our house was completed as soon as possible!
I would slow down time!
- I would give it to my children, let them play. She would make them very happy. And in my life I already got everything I dreamed of! So, what is she like a modern mother of many children? Versatile, smart, sociable, energetic, patient, wise, with a good sense of humor… You can continue for a long time. The main thing is that in modern society there are more and more prosperous large families, where love and care are in the forefront. We wish them happiness!
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