About family life. Patriarch Kirill

“Remembering close relatives in the flesh of the Lord and Savior, we affirm the value of family relations, the value of relations between close relatives through church celebration,” His Holiness Patriarch Kirill of Moscow and All Russia noted in a sermon after the Divine Liturgy at the Patriarchal Moscow Kremlin on January 8, on the day of the Council Holy Mother of God. On this day, the Church celebrates in honor of the fleshly relatives of the Lord Jesus Christ.

“Unfortunately, today life is arranged in such a way that people have lost their idea of ​​the Divine value of the family. Why Divine value? Yes, because the family is a Divine institution,” His Holiness emphasized.

However, according to His Holiness, people today are being bombarded by an information flow in which there is no place for the values ​​of families, “on the contrary, sin as a way of life is romanticized by modern pseudo-art.”

“It was pleasing to God that the institution of the family be associated with His coming into the world. Through the Incarnation, the family is not just sanctified - it is given the Divine status, ”said His Holiness the Patriarch.

“What God has joined together, let no man separate” (Mark 10:9) are the greatest words of Divine Scripture, which are realized in family relationships, the Primate of the Russian Church recalled the words of the Gospel. “Therefore, on this second day of the Nativity of Christ, our special prayer is for families, for husbands and wives, for parents and children, for the Lord to help everyone who lives in marriage to maintain purity of relationships, love, friendship, mutual support, ability carry each other's burdens, passing on family values ​​to the next generation, which is even more vulnerable to this very information flow.

Many families break up precisely because people are unable to communicate intimately. bear each other's burdens and thus fulfill the law of Christ(see Gal. 6:2). “Young people, entering into marriage, first of all expect pleasure from marriage. But marriage is not only the enjoyment and fellowship of people who love each other, it is also the bearing of each other’s burdens,” continued Holy Lord. - And hardships appear in illnesses, and in sorrows, and in failures at work, and in the loss material well-being, in the loss of housing, work - and what kind of difficulties do not appear in the way of people! ! And the family must meet these difficulties as a whole.

“Let us pray to the Lord, His Most Pure Mother, the Betrothed Joseph, King David, Jacob, the brother of the Lord, that through their prayers the Lord would strengthen and bless our families, strengthen the love between spouses, between children and parents, so that through family life that great vocation of man would be realized, which is connected with the continuation of the family, with the education of the next generation in faith and piety,” called His Holiness the Patriarch, recalling that “the state of human society largely depends on the family, and the state of the state, the state of the entire human race depends on the state of society.”

The primate noted that “while praying for the well-being of families, we simultaneously pray for those who do not have a family, because the moral leaven that is shown to the world through family relations, having a beneficial effect on social relations, is also gracefully reflected in the lives of lonely people.”

“May the Lord protect our families, parents and children, may He help us all to keep the Orthodox faith, and with it respect for family relations, given by God to the human race,” His Holiness concluded.

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“Therefore, categorically speaking out against any violence in the family, considering it a great sin, as well as a crime, we are forced to raise our voice to protect family space from any intrusion from the outside, under any pretext,” the patriarch said.

He added that "love is first and foremost a sacrifice when one spouse gives himself to the other spouse." “And such love cannot be invaded from the outside under any circumstances, because love itself is capable of incinerating any conflict and any problem in family relationships,” Kirill concluded. The ROC believes that the draft law on domestic violence "contradicts the generally recognized legal principles of reasonableness, justice and equality", and its application in practice "will lead to gross and massive violation of the rights of citizens and families." The preventive measures listed in the document, according to the church, are “repressive in nature”, and “any normal human action” can be recognized as domestic violence, the Patriarchal Commission said in a statement. “Our people are convinced that the Russian family is just a gloomy dungeon and torture chamber for women and children. In order to create this impression, data are being disseminated that are presented as statistics, but in reality have no real basis," the statement said. The ROC noted that they are not surprised by the fact that the bill is actively supported by LGBT people and feminists. The draft law on the prevention of domestic violence was published on November 29 by the Federation Council. According to the document, “domestic” violence means physical acts that do not contain signs of an administrative offense or a criminal offense. “At the same time, “preventive conversations” and “protective orders” are offered as punishments for those who committed violence. The Ministry of Internal Affairs may prohibit the violator from communicating with his victim in person, by phone and via the Internet, as well as trying to find out where he is. If the violator does not comply with these requirements, then he may be held accountable, but the bill does not say which one. The bill is expected to be submitted to the State Duma by the end of 2019. The Just Russia faction has already stated that it will not support him. According to its leader Sergei Mironov, the bill could "pave the way for the introduction of juvenile justice, the main objective which - to remove children from families, and then give them somewhere - it is possible that in same-sex families abroad. The human rights organization Zona Prava also criticized the bill, but it, on the contrary, considered it too soft. The authors of the original version of the bill also believe that latest version document was "the result of the Federation Council's flirting with all sorts of radical conservative groups." In the new version, beatings and infliction of harm to health are completely removed from the scope of the law, therefore, to pass the law in such a truncated and legally illiterate form is complete absurdity, human rights activists believe. According to the Ministry of Internal Affairs, from January to September 2019, more than 15 thousand crimes against women in the field of family and domestic relations were committed in Russia. According to the resource

V Lately a series of programs dedicated to illegitimate children were broadcast on state television channels. Unfortunately, the meaning and content of these broadcasts are, in my opinion, not aimed at protecting traditional universal and Christian values, not at strengthening family ties and improving the moral state of society, but at rooting anti-church and anti-state ideas in the mass consciousness.
The apotheosis of such programs, in my opinion, was the program “ family secret”, which took place on August 14, 2012 in the Show “Let them talk” on the first TV channel. The host of the program is Orthodox Andrey Malakhov.
The main character of this program, Raisa Streltsova, being married and having other children from her husband, gave birth to another main character of the program - a married man Pavel Price, who also has a wife and children. This was confirmed on the program by both main characters. A woman voluntarily and consciously gave birth to a child from her lover. There is a fact of adultery and the consequence of adultery is an illegitimate child.
I will give only one fragment of this transmission, which most capaciously and accurately reflects the meaning and nature of this transmission. Honored Artist of the Russian Federation Vladimir Konkin, who was invited to the program, so emotionally admired the sin committed by the heroes that one wonders: “You are great! ... My Russian heart rejoices, because you are an example (!) of chastity (?), dignity (?), My tongue does not dare to say that this is adultery (?). This is not adultery! (?)". So, Vladimir Konkin, who professes (in his words) Orthodoxy, calls into question the teachings of Jesus Christ himself and the Seventh Commandment on adultery and debauchery. The original meaning of adultery (adulterium) is any forbidden sexual intercourse (treason) married woman. If you read the Bible carefully, it becomes clear that the Bible Special attention on the adultery of a married woman, since the consequence of the adultery of a married woman becomes an even more serious sin - an illegitimate child, which violates the husband's exclusive right to be the biological father in a marriage.
In my opinion, the monologue uttered by Konkin on this program, from the point of view of Orthodoxy, is cynical and blasphemous, since an undisguised call for debauchery, public propaganda of immorality, disrespect for the foundations of Christian dogma, an attempt to ennoble the gravest sin poured from the lips of the honored artist. Konkin, in my opinion, allowed the desecration of the teachings of Jesus Christ and the Seventh Commandment, and thereby deeply offended the feelings of believers.
Praising the act of a woman who gave birth to a child from adultery, the program organizers thereby inflicted, in my opinion, moral suffering on Russian families: men for belittling their right to be a biological father, women for the possibility of suspicion of adultery, since the program of the first channel is broadcast throughout the country.
For another woman in Pushkin's novel, morality and marital duty are higher than betrayal: “I love you (why dissemble?), But I am given to another; I will be faithful to him forever. It remains only to regret that these words, full of love for faith, for marital duty, for the Sacrament of the Wedding, were not spoken by Konkin.
In my opinion, in this program there is a direct intent to vulgarize family values defamation of Christian doctrine.
Due to the fact that tens of millions of people watched the program, I hope that the Patriarchate, in order to protect the teachings of Christ, the Seventh Commandment and strengthen the authority of the Russian Orthodox Church, will take the initiative to initiate proceedings on the fact of insulting the feelings of believers and inflicting moral suffering on them through propaganda, and imposing anti-church beliefs on Orthodox believers in the program “Let them talk” of August 14, 2012 under the name “Family Secret”.
In another program, “Let them talk,” the following situation was presented. After more than ten years of married life, the husband accidentally, after a blood test for group affiliation, learns that he is not the biological father of the child born in his marriage to his wife. The husband's claim to challenge paternity was satisfied, the marriage was annulled without recovery of alimony from ex-husband. So this woman went to court for recognition as a father and recovery of alimony from her former lover, from whom she gave birth many years ago, who by this time already had his own family. Article 49 of the RF IC allows this. With her adultery, this woman caused a huge moral trauma to both men. What was it like for her husband to know that he was raising a child conceived by his better half from another man, that the right to be a biological father was stolen from him by his legal wife? And what moral damage did this adulteress inflict many years later on her former lover, his current family, wife, children, relatives and friends?
I won’t be surprised if in the near future on the program “Let them talk!” we will be shown the fact that the court has satisfied the claim of a prostitute to a rich patient to establish paternity and collect alimony. Article 49 of the Family Code allows this: “the court takes into account any evidence that reliably confirms the origin of the child from a particular person.” They will order a paid DNA test - that's the evidence. And the Orthodox host of the program Andrey Malakhov will "for the first time" colorfully talk about the "betrayal" of his father. And after the transfer, agencies will also appear to provide services for the extraction of such evidence in court. The business is profitable for the agency.
The Russian Orthodox Church actively advocates the inadmissibility of propaganda of sexual perversions. Right! Sexual promiscuity in any form or form is a violation of the Seventh Commandment. But, neither homosexuals nor lesbians will ever produce an illegitimate child.
The Seventh Commandment is aimed, first of all, at the exclusion of the most severe consequences of adultery - an illegitimate child, since by committing adultery the wife actually steals from her husband the right to be a father in a marriage. All his life such a child will bear the stain of shame and dishonor that adulterers have placed on him. But, neither homosexuals nor lesbians will ever produce an illegitimate child.
Now, in my opinion, there is a mass planting and propaganda of adultery, but for some reason there is no active condemnation of adultery and, above all, the most serious consequences of such a sin - an illegitimate child on the part of the Russian Orthodox Church.
Dear Patriarch, how is the current situation in Russia with the value of the family linked to the teachings of Jesus Christ, which proclaims the truth that the relationship between a man and a woman - family ties - are lifelong? Why does the Russian Orthodox Church not ring all the bells about the current situation?
The destruction of the family entails economic troubles, because as a result of this, the number of abandoned and abandoned children increases: there are millions of homeless children in Russia. The breakdown of the family also has a negative effect on the upbringing of children, because children can receive the best, full-fledged upbringing only in a full-fledged family. Doctors say that divorce has an extremely negative impact on the health of citizens: divorced people get sick more often than family ones and live less.
You can’t close your eyes and pretend that nothing is happening when it comes to the threat to the existence of the state itself: the reproduction of the indigenous population (Russians, Tatars, Bashkirs, Ukrainians, etc.) in the 21st century is falling catastrophically. Without war, without the influence of the West, the number of the Russian population alone in Russia is decreasing daily by 1,000-1,500 people, on average, by half a million annually, which is confirmed by the censuses.
I urge you to take decisive measures to stop the propaganda of debauchery, adultery and extremism on television and radio channels, to restore family values ​​and the institution of paternity in Russia.
Sincerely, Valentin
From an appeal dated 25.08.2012

21.12.2018

The key topic of the Patriarchal report at the Diocesan Assembly of the city of Moscow was the family life of the clergy. The meeting takes place on December 21 in the Hall of Church Councils of the Cathedral of Christ the Savior

Making sense of the problem

“This year, a terrible tragedy happened in our diocese when a priest, apparently a sick man, whose condition, apparently, was not diagnosed in a timely manner, committed the murder of his wife. On behalf of our entire diocese, I offer deep condolences to the families and friends of the deceased mother and pray that the Lord will count her with the righteous and grant her the Kingdom of Heaven,” said His Holiness Patriarch Kirill.

His Holiness Vladyka emphasized that “this tragedy again turns us to the topic of family life clergy." At the same time, the Primate of the Russian Orthodox Church pointed out: “One of the properties of modern means of communication is that, exposing shortcomings in the life of society, which, perhaps, have always existed, they give them a scale that is not quite proportionate to reality. This is also true of the so-called crisis of priestly families. Thanks be to God, despite the difficulties that arise from time to time in the families of clergy (and often these are the same difficulties that occur within any other family), the families of clergy in most cases are preserved.

But the problem, nevertheless, needs to be comprehended, His Holiness is sure. “In the last two or three years, this topic has become a subject of discussion with the participation of bishops, clergymen and their wives, about which I am well informed. It is far from possible to agree with all the assessments made during this discussion, but it is already quite clear that it is unacceptable to simplify the problem by reducing it to administrative and material issues or ignoring the impact of these issues on the family life of the clergy,” His Holiness believes.

According to the Patriarch, “we are dealing with a whole range of problems that have accumulated over decades, including a general family crisis, economic difficulties, and, at times, the unpreparedness of the families of future clergymen for the life circumstances associated with the adoption of the priesthood by the head of the family, and much more."

His Holiness Patriarch Kirill of Moscow and All Russia stressed that theological schools should regularly hold discussions on the topics of family life, the upbringing of children, the norms of communication with persons of the opposite sex, for which priests who are experienced in family life should be invited. “It is also necessary to think about the fact that information about the Christian understanding of marriage is included in the curricula of the relevant disciplines as part of the spiritual education of future clergy - in the existing courses of pastoral theology, for example, these issues have not yet been adequately covered,” His Holiness noted. “Those who intend to make it their life's work to serve the Lord's altar must have a conscious gospel view of marriage and family life.”

His Holiness Vladyka drew attention to the fact that during discussions about crisis phenomena in the families of the clergy, they talk a lot about material and everyday difficulties. “This is fair, but one should not exaggerate the significance of these difficulties,” the Primate of the Russian Orthodox Church is sure. – To some extent, the clergy share the lot of the whole people, they are in the same situation as ordinary people - laity of all professions face similar difficulties today, and especially those who, like the clergy, cannot consider themselves completely free in choosing a job or in search of a livelihood, for example, military personnel, employees law enforcement, doctors and many others.

Don't leave alone

Nevertheless, the position of the clergy is special, His Holiness Patriarch Kirill stated, this is known from the Holy Scriptures, and therefore “it is unacceptable that, in the difficult circumstances of the life of his family, a clergyman finds himself alone before the choice between sacrificing the main business of his life - serving the altar - and searching for the necessary means of subsistence.

His Holiness specifically noted that “such a temptation is truly terrible, because every clergyman understands in the depths of his heart that when he leaves the service of the altar of the Lord, the foundation of his life collapses.” A priest who has entrusted himself and "the lives of his loved ones to God and the Church" cannot but hope "in the Church, and she must not refuse him support." His Grace Vicars and Dean Fathers are entrusted with special care for this.

His Holiness Patriarch Kirill approved the activities of the Commission of Trustees under the Diocesan Council of the City of Moscow, which "in last years is expanding, and ideally there should be a situation in which no one in dire need would be left outside her attention.

The Bishops' Council of 2017 emphasized in the corresponding resolution that when determining the place of service of a clergyman and his material support, it is important, if possible, to take into account the composition and size of his family. “In addition to what the Council said, I would add that the circumstances of the life of the families of priests and deacons should be taken into account by the rectors and deans also when compiling the liturgical schedule in parishes and when distributing vacation time. For example, families of clergymen with children of school age should have priority when choosing the time of vacation during the summer or other school holidays,” admonished the vicars, deans and rectors.

“Experience shows that kind, wise participation in the fate of a family in crisis can in many cases change the situation,” believes the Primate of the Russian Orthodox Church. – However, it is important that such meetings do not turn out to be formal. In particular, the methods of administrative management should be avoided in their organization. Excessive attention to family life issues on the part of the authorities is sometimes perceived with apprehension and distrust as interference and an attempt at unjustified control. Delicateness in this sensitive area will not be superfluous.

About asceticism, love and family happiness

“A prosperous family life, growth in mutual love is a Christian feat, an ascetic and – in our case – a pastoral task,” emphasized His Holiness Patriarch Kirill of Moscow and All Russia. Do all our brothers remember this? Isn't forgetting these fundamentals the root of the problem? Yes, the crisis in the families of clergy is a reflection - thank God, on a smaller scale - of a similar crisis in the life of the people. But if people who do not know the Church through their difficulties often wander without an evangelical guideline, then who, if not a priest, should understand that a crisis in families is primarily an ascetic failure and a sin - a sin of indifference, inattention, impoverishment of love, behind which, alas, sometimes infidelity follows, and sometimes hatred up to the readiness to raise a hand against the closest person?! Needless to say, the collapse of the family life of a priest inevitably casts a dark shadow on his pastoral ministry. How will he with a pure heart to serve the Church of Christ when his home church fell apart?”

The Primate of the Russian Orthodox Church mentioned that it is common for ordinary consciousness to judge Christian asceticism as some kind of set of restrictions, even if accepted voluntarily, as a necessary means of curbing evil. “But after all, the well-known words of the Psalmist: “Turn away from evil,” are followed by others: “And do good, seek peace and strive for it” (Ps. 33:14), His Holiness Patriarch recalled. – And if we think and talk a lot and willingly about how to evade evil, then we tend to forget about the second part of this imperative of Holy Scripture, believing that the good in our life happens by itself. But it is precisely the desire for good, for the peace of Christ that requires the ascetic efforts of both parties of the marital union, and especially the head of the family, invested with holy dignity,” His Holiness emphasized.

Family happiness is not only about youth, the Patriarch noted: “Common prayer, maintaining mutual love and growing in it, gaining a common view of the world, the ability to maintain an attentive, grateful and appreciative attitude towards each other, generous patience, the ability to listen and hear - all this should be the content of the daily spiritual feat of the clergyman and his wife, and not only during the formation of a young family, but also - this is no less important - much later, in the years of maturity and even in old age.

The priest's family is in the forefront of his flock

The Primate of the Russian Orthodox Church drew attention to the fact that the priest has a responsibility for the flock, but also for his own family: “The sacrifice of a pastor is, first of all, the readiness to sacrifice oneself, one’s own strength, one’s attention, one’s rest and time. But this does not mean that you should completely sacrifice your neighbors! Are fathers always attentive to their spouses? Doesn't it happen that a priest busy with pastoral labors does not look at his wife's mood, at her needs, does not notice her fatigue, leaves her alone with the boredom and monotony of household chores? Attentive and sensitive attitude towards parishioners is the norm of pastoral behavior. And after all, household priests and, first of all, those who have connected their lives with him and his service, need such an attentive and sensitive attitude. She, along with her children, is in the forefront of his flock.”

Considering all this, many of the difficulties in life mentioned above will not be fatal, believes His Holiness Patriarch Kirill. Even the question of the family's readiness for the husband's priesthood loses its soreness and sharpness. “Yes, not always the wife of a priest or deacon from the first days can fully bear the obligations associated with her position and certain restrictions, real or imaginary hardships. But where there is a genuine commonality of life and mutual love and affection does not fade away, sooner or later a worldview unity is formed, a common view of things, like-mindedness and readiness to bear each other's burdens and fulfill the law of Christ (cf.: Gal. 6, 2),” said the Primate of the Russian Orthodox Church.

Thanks to mothers

Why do you have to be married to become a clergyman? His Holiness the Patriarch recalled the origins of this tradition. “The tradition of electing married people to the diaconal and presbyter dignity is not just an ancient custom of our Church. This is evidence of her wisdom inspired by the Holy Spirit; it is a wide-open window of opportunity for the active dissemination of the truth of Christ in the world. That is why the Apostle Paul in his epistle to Timothy (see: 1 Tim. 3.4); reminds us that the ability to manage your home well is one of the criteria for good pastoral service,” His Holiness emphasized.

It is necessary to treat emerging trends “with very great caution”, incl. and in the legislative sphere, to give the opportunity to interfere in the life of a family to strangers for her, the patriarch said Kirill.

- Of course, no violence in the family should be allowed! But there is something dangerous in the trends that are taking shape today, including in the legislative sphere, when some try, under the guise of fighting family troubles, to legitimize the invasion of family life by third-party forces, public or state organizations, or some kind of volunteers who allegedly called to help resolve the situation in the family, - said the Primate on December 4 after the Liturgy in the Assumption Cathedral of the Kremlin, the Interfax-religion agency reports.

According to the Primate, “this kind of intrusion of strangers into family life must be treated with great caution.”

Noting that the family is “a holy space of people who love each other,” the Primate of the Church expressed confidence that, first of all, “everything must be done to preserve this love, to prevent any violence and the use of force in general, so that the life of spouses was joyful, peaceful, happy, so that children were brought up in this atmosphere.

- But it is very dangerous when strangers and other forces invade this closed, intimate family space, and God knows that this invasion can really bring - good or harm - for people who live side by side with each other and who preserve family bonds. Therefore, categorically speaking out against any violence in the family, considering it a great sin, as well as a crime, we are forced to raise our voice to protect the family space from any intrusion from the outside, under any pretext, - said Patriarch Kirill.

At the same time, the Primate added, so that family life does not go to extremes, everyone who is going to get married should understand that “love is not only flowers and the joy of the period of acquaintance or the first years of married life, love - this is, first of all, a sacrifice, when one spouse gives himself to another spouse, when there is nothing that it would be a pity to give, when people are ready to give their health, give their blood for each other - this is true love.

“And such love cannot be invaded from the outside under any pretext, because love itself is capable of incinerating any conflict and any problem in family relationships,” His Holiness concluded.

It should be recalled that earlier the Patriarchal Commission on Family Affairs, Protection of Motherhood and Childhood, which is currently under public discussion, draft law "On the Prevention of Domestic Violence in Russian Federation”, which, according to her, has a number of legal defects.

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