Help the children. A dysfunctional family for a child is not a synonym for an antisocial or asocial family. There are a great many families about which nothing bad can be said from a formal point of view, but nevertheless, for this particular child, this family will be dysfunctional. Of course, the family of a drunkard or a hooligan will be dysfunctional for any child, but in most cases that we are discussing, the concept of a dysfunctional family can only arise in relation to a specific child who is affected by this disadvantage. For one child, the family may be suitable, and for another, the same family will cause painful emotional experiences and even mental illness. Families are different, children are different, so that only the system of relations "family - child" has the right to be considered as prosperous or dysfunctional.

The family may be incomplete. It can be complete, but with a contradictory upbringing, or with an upbringing that suppresses the child, or with greenhouse conditions, etc. , finally, he leaves the family, the family breathes a sigh of relief, peace reigns in it). There are outwardly good relations in the family, but parents, overly busy with their production affairs, pay little attention to the child - this can also lead to bad consequences for the vulnerable soul of a small person.

And if the child was born from an abnormal birth, often sick, if he has a bad character due to some hereditary reasons? Such a child may perceive the attitude of parents towards himself too sharply or somehow paradoxically (objective resentment is "for a penny", and the reaction from the child is "for a ruble").

And there can be many such aspects. We will not stop at all - we will only touch on the main ones. All children are different, each has its own character, habits and characteristics, each has its own nervous system. Therefore, the teacher must select an individual key for each, find his own approach (this, of course, also applies to parents). It is especially difficult to find the key to a teenager, because at this age all reactions are aggravated, you never know what will cause a violent reaction in a teenager. However, violent reactions arise in response to all those troubles that infuriate adults as well. You need to treat a teenager the way every adult would like to be treated himself - all of us, teachers, doctors, parents and relatives, will behave in this way towards teenagers, consider that adolescents do not have excessive cartoonishly pointed reactions will appear.

The girl is 16 years old. She was always nervous, irritable, took everything to heart, was easily offended ("Don't tell her a word," relatives complained). Outwardly pleasant, visible. The boys looked after her. One day, when it was raining outside, two of her classmates came to see her. We sat and talked. And then my father came home from work. He was darker than a cloud: he had a fight with his superiors. I saw giggling teenagers, and I was so angry (he said later) that he attacked the boys and kicked them out of the house. The daughter was worried, cried, could not sleep. In the morning, the father came to his senses, even pretended to ask his daughter for forgiveness.

For two days she did not go to school: "I was ashamed of what happened, because the guys must have already told everyone about the behavior of their father."

On the third day I showed up at school. And then another blow awaited her - the strongest and in the weakest place. She had a boyfriend with whom she was friends. Classmates called them Romeo and Juliet. And then Romeo stopped paying attention to his Juliet and explained this by the fact that she, they say, has a boorish father. The girl burst into tears, ran home, stopped talking to her father, refused to go to school. And when she was forced to go to classes, a trembling appeared in her right hand, she could not write. In other words, a neurosis has arisen.

Who's to blame? And the father, and the girl, and Romeo, and many others. And if everyone were delicate, attentive to each other, trouble would not happen.

In 1984, the film "Irreconcilable Contradictions" was released in the USA, which was soon shown on Soviet screens. Another story about how children have to suffer because of the breakup of the family, the breakup that has become perhaps the largest national disaster in the United States (five out of eight marriages break up, the film states bitterly).

He is a film director, she is a writer. Smart, beautiful, talented, charming people. They have a daughter. After the divorce of her parents, she lives with her mother, but often sees her father (according to the schedule, which the parents, wanting to annoy each other, scrupulously fulfill). Each parent pulls the child in their own direction. In the end, the desperate girl sued her parents. Speaking at the court, accusing them of poor performance of parental duties, the girl begs adults to treat children humanly, because they are not kittens, not puppies, which can be abandoned by playing with them if they are tired. It is necessary to respect in a child a person who is not guilty, that adults for some reason do not want to live together and forget about their responsibility for the third being born from their marriage.

An elderly female judge, listening to the girl, sadly shakes her head: it is clear that she has heard enough of such speeches and has long lost faith in the possibility of correcting the egoism of adults.

But a film is a film: at the end, there is hope that the parents will be reunited and there will be peace between them. And in real life this world is rare and unstable - if it exists at all. And children suffer from it.

Previously, men and women parted because of infidelity, because of the drunkenness of one of the spouses, sometimes because of financial difficulties. And now? Most of the time, they can't even explain why. And they do not think about the fate of children, their warped childhood, warped spiritual life. Children will grow up and, remembering how their parents behaved, will continue their path. Or become cynics. Or lonely. Or some other, but in any case - unhappy

Is it possible that civilization developed in order to legitimize the possibility of children's happiness? Happiness, unthinkable without a full-fledged family?

Defects in upbringing are the first and most important indicator of a family's troubles.. Neither material, nor everyday, nor prestigious indicators characterize the degree of well-being or trouble of the family - only the attitude towards the child. You can’t heal this, everything here is much thinner and more complicated. Therefore, when we talk about those mental disorders that are based on the family's troubles or that are intensified and, in any case, do not stop again because of the family's troubles, in all these cases we talk about the wrong upbringing of the younger generation.

A fifteen-year-old girl was brought in for a consultation. An excellent student, smart, beautiful (even I would say - too much), she enjoyed widespread success with boys and caused indestructible envy among girls. And suddenly she became irritable, nervous, tearful, does not want to go to school, is ashamed to show herself to her parents. What happened to her? Her parents took her to the doctors, but the girl did not open up, she did not tell anything worthwhile about her experiences. She also did not want to tell me anything, but then she asked for a private conversation, and only then did the reason for such a rapid change in her condition become clear: only once in her life - and shortly before our meeting - did she masturbate. And so, at school, the teacher decided to have a conversation about sex education and, by the way, said that if a person engages in masturbation, he will inevitably become disabled - even if these classes were once. The teacher deciphered her idea: onanists do not have children, they cannot give birth normally, they usually end up with dementia. All this made a nightmarish impression on the vulnerable, prone to get stuck on her feelings girl. And after that the neurosis began, the content of which I have already described.

How did the mother of the patient behave in this situation? Instead of figuring out what is the matter here and reassuring her daughter, distracting her from painful experiences, explaining to her that the teacher, to put it mildly, exaggerated, the mother said indifferently that, they say, if the teacher said so, then everything is right, it means that onanists will become invalids and fools. This only added fuel to the fire: the girl burst into tears, could neither eat nor sleep. Mother reacted to this with monstrous callousness: "If you cry, then you are an onanist, and you will become a fool."

A few days later, the mother realized that she had made a mistake, that with my own hands caused enormous damage to the health of her daughter. Understood and brought the child to a child psychiatrist.

Everything ended happily; but the illness might not have happened if both the teacher and the mother behaved more prudently, more calmly, did not say or do stupid things, presenting their ignorant judgments as the ultimate truth. One child will not pay attention at all to such absurd views of two adult women, but another - vulnerable, gullible, accustomed to respect the opinion of elders, to obey him - can really become disabled. Only not from onanism, but from the wrong struggle with it.

An increase in the number of divorces and a decrease in the birth rate, an increase in crime in the sphere of family and domestic relations and an increase in the risk of children being exposed to neuroses due to an unfavorable psychological climate in the family. “Intra-family life plays a huge role in the formation of personality, and not only the relationship between the child and parents, but also the adults themselves. Constant quarrels between them, lies, conflicts, fights, despotism contribute to breakdowns in the nervous activity of the child and a neurotic state. These and other signs of family disorganization testify to the crisis state of its development at the present stage and the increase in the number of dysfunctional family unions. It is in such families that people most often receive serious psychological trauma, which is far from having the best effect on their future fate.

The well-known child psychiatrist M. I. Buyanov believes that everything in the world is relative - both well-being and trouble. At the same time, he considers family troubles as creating unfavorable conditions for the development of the child. According to his interpretation, a family that is dysfunctional for a child is not a synonym for an asocial family. There are many families about which, from a formal point of view, nothing bad can be said, but for a particular child, this family will be dysfunctional if it has factors that adversely affect the child's personality, aggravating his negative emotional and mental state. “For one child,” emphasizes M.I. Buyanov, “the family may be suitable, and for another, the same family will cause painful emotional experiences and even mental illness.

Families are different, children are different, so that only the system of relations "family - child" has the right to be considered as "prosperous" or "unfavorable".

Thus, the state of mind and behavior of the child is a kind of indicator of family well-being. “Defects in education,” says M.I. Buyanov, “this is the first and most important indicator of the family’s troubles.”

Dysfunctional families are families with a low social status, in one of the spheres of life or several at the same time, unable to cope with the functions assigned to them, their adaptive abilities are significantly reduced, the process of family upbringing of a child proceeds with great difficulties, slowly, ineffectively.

By the term “unfavorable”, we tend to understand a family in which the structure is broken, internal boundaries are blurred, the main family functions are depreciated or ignored, there are obvious or hidden defects in education, as a result of which the psychological climate in it is disturbed, and “difficult children” appear.

Taking into account the dominant factors that have a negative impact on the development of the child's personality, we conditionally divided dysfunctional families into two large groups, each of which includes several varieties.

1. The first group consists of families with a clear (open) form of trouble - the so-called conflict, problem families, asocial, immoral - criminal and families with a lack of educational resources (in particular, incomplete families).
2. The second group is represented by outwardly respectable families, whose way of life does not cause concern and criticism from the public. However, the value orientations and behavior of parents sharply diverge from universal moral values, which cannot but affect the moral character of children brought up in such families. A distinctive feature of these families is that the relationships of their members at the external, social level make a favorable impression, and the consequences of improper upbringing are invisible at first glance, which sometimes misleads others, however, they have a destructive effect on the personal formation of children. These families are classified by us as internally dysfunctional (with a hidden form of trouble) and the varieties of such families are quite diverse.

Types of dysfunctional families in modern society

A distinctive feature of families with a clear (external) form of trouble is that the forms of this type of families have a pronounced character, manifested simultaneously in several areas of family life (for example, at the social and material level), or exclusively at the level of interpersonal relations, which leads to to an unfavorable psychological climate in the family group. Usually in a family with a clear form of trouble, the child experiences physical and emotional rejection on the part of the parents (lack of care for him, improper care and food, various forms of family violence, ignoring his spiritual world of experiences). As a result of these unfavorable intra-family factors, the child develops a feeling of inadequacy, shame for himself and his parents in front of others, fear and pain for his present and future.

Among outwardly dysfunctional families, the most common are those in which one or more members are dependent on the use of psychoactive substances, primarily alcohol and drugs. A person suffering from alcoholism and drugs involves all close people in his illness. Therefore, it is no coincidence that specialists began to pay attention not only to the patient himself, but also to his family, thereby recognizing that addiction to alcohol and drugs is a family disease, a family problem.

One of the most powerful unfavorable factors that destroy not only the family, but also the mental balance of the child is the alcoholism of the parents. It can negatively affect not only at the moment of conception and during pregnancy, but throughout the life of the child. Families with alcohol dependence. As psychologists (B. S. Bratus, V. D. Moskalenko, E. M. Mastyukova, F. G. Uglov, etc.) note, adults in such a family, forgetting about parental responsibilities, are completely and completely immersed in the “alcoholic subculture ”, which is accompanied by the loss of social and moral values ​​and leads to social and spiritual degradation. Ultimately, families with chemical dependence become socially and psychologically dysfunctional.

The life of children in such a family atmosphere becomes unbearable, turns them into social orphans with living parents.

Living together with a patient with alcoholism leads to serious mental disorders in other family members, the complex of which is designated by specialists with such a term as codependency.

Codependency arises in response to a protracted stressful situation in the family and leads to suffering for all members of the family group. Children are especially vulnerable in this regard. The lack of the necessary life experience, a weak psyche - all this leads to the disharmony reigning in the house, quarrels and scandals, unpredictability and lack of security, as well as the alienated behavior of parents, deeply traumatize the child's soul, and the consequences of this moral and psychological trauma often impose a deep imprint for the rest of your life.

The most important features of the process of growing up of children from "alcoholic" families are that:

1. Children grow up with the belief that the world is an unsafe place and people cannot be trusted;
2. Children are forced to hide their true feelings and experiences in order to be accepted by adults; they are not aware of their feelings, they do not know what their cause is and what to do with it, but it is in accordance with them that they build their lives, relationships with other people, with alcohol and drugs. Children carry their emotional wounds and experiences into adulthood, often becoming chemically addicted. And the same problems reappear that were in the house of their drinking parents;
3. Children feel emotionally rejected by adults when they make mistakes due to indiscretion, when they do not live up to the expectations of adults, when they openly show their feelings and state their needs;
4. Children, especially older ones in the family, are forced to take responsibility for the behavior of their parents;
5. Parents may not perceive the child as a separate being with its own value, they believe that the child should feel, look and do the same as they do;
6. Parents' self-esteem can depend on the child. Parents can treat him as an equal without giving him the opportunity to be a child;
7. A family with alcohol-dependent parents is dangerous for its desocializing influence not only on their own children, but also for the spread of a destructive impact on the personal development of children from other families. As a rule, whole companies of neighboring children arise around such houses, thanks to adults they become familiar with alcohol and the criminal and immoral subculture that reigns among drinking people.

Among clearly dysfunctional families a large group are families with violation of parent-child relations. In them, the influence on children is desocialized; they are manifested not directly through patterns of immoral behavior of parents, as is the case in "alcoholic" families, but indirectly, due to chronic complicated, actually unhealthy relationships between spouses, which are characterized by a lack of mutual understanding and mutual respect, an increase in emotional alienation and a predominance of conflict interactions.

Naturally, conflict family becomes not immediately, but some time after the formation of the marriage union. And in each case there are reasons that gave rise to a family atmosphere. However, not all families are destroyed, many manage not only to resist, but to make family ties stronger. All this depends on what caused the emergence of a conflict situation and what is the attitude of each of the spouses towards it, as well as on their focus on a constructive or destructive way of resolving a family conflict. Therefore, it is necessary to distinguish between such concepts as “family conflicts” and “conflict families”, since the conflict in the family, although quite stormy, does not mean that it is a conflict family, does not always indicate its instability.

"Conflict matrimonial unions"- it is noted in one of the reference books on family problems - such families are called in which there are constantly areas where the interests, intentions, desires of all or several family members (spouses, children, other relatives living together) collide, generating strong and prolonged negative emotional states, the ongoing hostility of the spouses to each other. Conflict — chronic condition such a family.

Regardless of whether the conflict family is noisy, scandalous, where raised voices, irritability become the norm of relations between spouses, or quiet, where marital relations are marked by complete alienation, the desire to avoid any interaction, it negatively affects the formation of the child's personality and can cause various asocial manifestations. in the form of deviant behavior.

Conflict families often lack moral and psychological support. characteristic feature conflict families is also a violation of communication between its members. As a rule, an inability to communicate is hidden behind a protracted, unresolved conflict or quarrel.

Conflict families are more “silent” than non-conflict ones; in them, spouses exchange information less often and avoid unnecessary conversations. In such families, they almost never say “we”, preferring to say only “I”, which indicates the psychological isolation of marriage partners, their emotional disunity. And finally, in problematic, always quarreling families, communication with each other is built in a monologue mode, reminiscent of the conversation of the deaf: everyone says his own, the most important, sore, but no one hears him; the answer is the same monologue.

Children who have experienced quarrels between parents receive adverse experiences in life. Negative images of childhood are very harmful, they cause thinking, feelings and actions already in adulthood. Therefore, parents who do not know how to find mutual understanding with each other must always remember that even with an unsuccessful marriage, children should not be drawn into family conflicts. You should think about the problems of the child, at least as much as about your own.

A child's behavior is a kind of indicator of family well-being or trouble. The roots of trouble in the behavior of children are easy to see if children grow up in families that are clearly dysfunctional. It is much more difficult to do this in relation to those "difficult" children and adolescents who were brought up in families that are quite prosperous. And only close attention to the analysis of the family atmosphere in which the life of a child who fell into the "risk group" passed, allows us to find out that well-being was relative. Outwardly regulated relationships in families are often a kind of cover for the emotional alienation that reigns in them, both at the level of marital and child-parent relationships. Children often experience an acute shortage of parental love, affection and attention due to the official or personal employment of the spouses.

The consequence of such family upbringing of children quite often becomes pronounced egoism, arrogance, intolerance, difficulties in communicating with peers and adults.

In this regard, it is not uninteresting classification of family unions, proposed by V. V. Yustitskis, who singles out the “incredulous”, “frivolous”, “cunning” family - with these metaphorical names he denotes certain forms of hidden family trouble.

"Distrustful" family. Characteristic- increased distrust of others (neighbors, acquaintances, workmates, employees of institutions with which family members have to communicate). Family members deliberately consider everyone unfriendly or simply indifferent, and their intentions towards the family are hostile.

Such a position of the parents also forms in the child himself a distrustful and hostile attitude towards others. He develops suspicion, aggressiveness, it is increasingly difficult for him to enter into friendly contacts with peers.

Children from such families are most vulnerable to the influence of antisocial groups, since the psychology of these troupes is close to them: hostility towards others, aggressiveness. Therefore, it is not easy to establish spiritual contact with them and gain their trust, since they do not believe in sincerity in advance and are waiting for a dirty trick.

The "frivolous" family. It is distinguished by a carefree attitude towards the future, the desire to live one day, not caring about what consequences today's actions will have tomorrow. Members of such a family gravitate towards momentary pleasures, plans for the future are usually uncertain. If someone expresses dissatisfaction with the present and a desire to live differently, he does not think about it seriously.

Children in such families grow up weak-willed, disorganized, they are drawn to primitive entertainment. They commit misconduct most often due to a thoughtless attitude to life, lack of firm principles and unformed strong-willed qualities.

V "cunning" family First of all, they value enterprise, luck and dexterity in achieving life goals. The main thing is the ability to achieve success in the shortest way, with a minimum expenditure of labor and time. At the same time, members of such a family sometimes easily cross the boundaries of what is permitted. Laws and moral standards.

To such qualities as diligence, patience, perseverance, the attitude in such a family is skeptical, even dismissive. As a result of such “education”, an attitude is formed: the main thing is not to get caught.

There are many varieties of family life, where these signs are smoothed out, and the consequences of improper upbringing are not so noticeable. But still they are. Perhaps the most noticeable is the spiritual loneliness of children.

Consider some types of families related to hidden forms of family trouble:

Families focused on the success of the child a. A possible variety of an internally dysfunctional family is the seemingly perfectly normal typical families, where parents seem to pay enough attention to children and attach importance to them. The whole range of family relationships unfolds in the space between the age and individual characteristics of children and the expectations placed on them by their parents, which, ultimately, form the child's attitude towards himself and his environment. Parents instill in their children a desire for achievement, which is often accompanied by an excessive fear of failure. The child feels that all his positive connections with his parents depend on his success, he is afraid that he will be loved only as long as he does everything well. This attitude does not even require special formulations: it is so clearly expressed through everyday activities that the child is constantly in a state of increased emotional stress only because of the expectation of a question about how his school (sports, music, etc.) affairs are. He is sure in advance that “fair” reproaches, edifications, and even more serious punishments await him if he fails to achieve the expected success.

Pseudo-mutual and pseudo-hostile families. To describe unhealthy family relations, which are hidden, veiled, some researchers use the concept of homeostasis, meaning by this family ties that are restrictive, impoverished, stereotyped and almost indestructible. The most famous are two forms of such relations - pseudo-reciprocity and pseudo-hostility. In both cases, we are talking about families whose members are interconnected by endlessly repeating stereotypes of emotional mutual reactions and are in fixed positions in relation to each other, preventing the personal and psychological separation of family members. Pseudo-reciprocal families encourage the expression of only warm, loving, supportive feelings, and hostility, anger, irritation and other negative feelings are hidden and suppressed in every possible way. In pseudo-hostile families, on the contrary, it is customary to express only hostile feelings, and reject tender ones. The first type of families is called by domestic authors pseudo-solidary, or pseudo-cooperating.

A similar form of marital interaction can be transferred to the sphere of parent-child relations, which cannot but affect the formation of the child's personality. He does not so much learn to feel, but rather to "play with feelings", and focusing solely on positive side their manifestations, while remaining emotionally cold and aloof. Having become an adult, a child from such a family, despite the presence of an internal need for care and love, will prefer non-interference in the personal affairs of a person, even the closest one, and emotional detachment, up to complete alienation, will be elevated to his main life principle.

Researchers studying the psychology of such families identify as the most common three specific forms seen in them troubles: rivalry, alleged cooperation and isolation.

Rivalry manifests itself in the form of the desire of two or more family members to secure a dominant position in the house. At first glance, this is the primacy in decision-making: financial, economic, pedagogical (concerning the upbringing of children), organizational, etc. It is known that the problem of leadership in the family is especially acute in the first years of marriage: husband and wife often quarrel over which of them should be the head of the family.

Rivalry is evidence that there is no real head in the family.

A child in such a family grows up with the absence of a traditional division of roles in the family, which is the norm, finding out who is in charge in the “family” at every opportunity. The child is formed the opinion that conflicts are the norm.

Imaginary cooperation. Such a form of family trouble as imaginary cooperation is also quite common, although at the external, social level it is “covered” by the seemingly harmonious relations of spouses and other family members. Conflicts between husband and wife or spouses and their parents are not visible on the surface. But this temporary lull lasts only until the moment when one of the family members does not change his life position. Imaginary cooperation can also clearly manifest itself in a situation where, on the contrary, one of the family members (more often the wife), after a long period of doing only household chores, decides to get involved in professional activities. A career requires a lot of time and effort, therefore, naturally, household chores that only the wife did have to be redistributed among other family members and they are not ready for that.

In such a family, the child does not form an attitude to cooperate with members of his family, to find a compromise. On the contrary, he believes that each should support the other, as long as it does not go against his personal interests.

Insulation. Along with rivalry and imaginary cooperation, isolation is a fairly common form of family trouble. A relatively simple version of this difficulty in the family is the psychological isolation of one person in the family from others, most often it is the widowed parent of one of the spouses. Despite the fact that he lives in the house of his children, he does not take a direct part in the life of the family: no one is interested in his opinion on certain issues, he is not involved in the discussion of important family problems, and they do not even ask about his well-being, as everyone knows that “he is always ill” They simply got used to him, as to an interior item and consider it their duty only to make sure that he is fed in a timely manner.

A variant of mutual isolation of two or more family members is possible. For example, the emotional alienation of spouses can lead to the fact that each of them prefers to spend most of their time outside the family, having their own circle of acquaintances, affairs and entertainment. Remaining spouses purely formally, both rather depart than spend time at home. The family rests either on the need to raise children, or out of prestige, financial and other similar considerations.

mutually isolated can become a young and parental family living under the same roof. Sometimes they and household lead separately, like two families in a communal apartment. Conversations revolve mainly around everyday problems: whose turn it is to clean public places, who and how much to pay for utilities, etc.

In such a family, the child observes a situation of emotional, psychological, and sometimes physical isolation of family members. Such a child does not have a sense of attachment to the family, he does not know what it is to feel for another family member if he is old or sick.

The listed forms are not exhausted by the varieties of family troubles. At the same time, each of the adults, consciously or unconsciously, seeks to use children in a function that is beneficial for themselves. Children, as they grow older and become aware of the family situation, begin to play games with adults, the rules of which were imposed on them. Especially clearly the difficult situation of children in families with various forms of psychological distress is manifested in the roles that they are forced to take on at the initiative of adults. Whatever the role - positive or negative - it equally negatively affects the formation of the child's personality, which will not be slow to affect his sense of self and relationships with others, not only in childhood, but also in adulthood.

In addition, family well-being is a relative phenomenon and may be temporary. Often quite wealthy family goes into the category of either explicitly or covertly dysfunctional families. Therefore, it is necessary to constantly carry out work to prevent family problems.

The influence of a dysfunctional family on the development and upbringing of a child

Family education is a controlled system of relationships between parents and children, and the leading role in it belongs to parents. It is they who need to know what forms of relationships with their own children contribute to the harmonious development of the child's psyche and personal qualities, and which, on the contrary, prevent the formation of normal behavior in them and, for the most part, lead to difficult education and personality deformation.

The wrong choice of forms, methods and means of pedagogical influence, as a rule, leads to the emergence of unhealthy ideas, habits and needs in children, which put them in abnormal relations with society. Quite often, parents see their educational task in achieving obedience. Therefore, often they don’t even try to understand the child, but strive to teach, scold, read long notations as much as possible, forgetting that notation is not a lively conversation, not a heart-to-heart conversation, but the imposition of “truths” that seem indisputable to adults, but children are often not perceived and not accepted, because they simply do not understand. This method of surrogate education gives formal satisfaction to parents and is completely useless (and even harmful) for children brought up in this way.

One of the features of family education is the constant presence before the eyes of children of a model of the behavior of their parents. By imitating them, children copy both positive and negative behavioral characteristics, learn the rules of relationships that do not always correspond to socially approved norms. Ultimately, this can result in antisocial and illegal forms of behavior.

The specific features of family education are most clearly manifested in a number of difficulties that parents face and the mistakes they make, which cannot but have a negative impact on the formation of the personality of their children. First of all, this concerns the style of family education, the choice of which is most often determined by the personal views of parents on the problems of development and personal development of their children.

The style of education depends not only on sociocultural rules and norms, presented in the form of national traditions in education, but also on the pedagogical position (point of view) of the parent regarding how parent-child relationships should be built in the family, on the formation of what personality traits and qualities in children should be guided by his educational influences. In accordance with this, the parent determines the model of his behavior in communicating with the child.

Parenting Options

• Strict- the parent acts mainly by forceful, directive methods, imposing his system of requirements, rigidly guiding the child along the path of social achievements, while often blocking the child's own activity and initiative. This option generally corresponds to the authoritarian style.
• Explanatory parent appeals to common sense child, resorts to a verbal explanation, assuming the child is equal to himself and capable of understanding the explanations addressed to him.
• Autonomous- the parent does not impose a decision on the child, allowing him to find a way out of the current situation, giving him maximum freedom in choosing and making a decision, maximum independence, independence; the parent encourages the child for displaying these qualities.
• Compromise- to solve the problem, the parent suggests to the child something attractive in return for the commission of an unattractive action for him or to share responsibilities, difficulties in half. The parent is guided by the interests and preferences of the child, knows what can be offered in return, what to switch the child's attention to.
• Promotional- the parent understands at what point the child needs his help and to what extent he can and should provide it. He really participates in the life of the child, seeks to help, share his difficulties with him.
• sympathizer- the parent sincerely and deeply sympathizes and empathizes with the child in a conflict situation, without, however, taking any specific actions. He subtly and sensitively reacts to changes in the state, mood of the child.
• indulgent- the parent is ready to take any action, even to the detriment of himself, to ensure the physiological and psychological comfort of the child. The parent is completely focused on the child: he puts his needs and interests above his own, and often above the interests of the family as a whole.
• Situational- the parent makes the appropriate decision depending on the situation in which he is; there is no universal strategy for raising a child. The system of parental requirements and the upbringing strategy is labile and flexible.
• Dependent- the parent does not feel confident in himself, his strengths and relies on the help and support of a more competent environment (educators, teachers and scientists) or shifts his responsibilities to him. A parent is greatly influenced by pedagogical and psychological literature, from which he tries to draw the necessary information about the “correct” upbringing of his children.

The internal pedagogical position, views on upbringing in the family are always reflected in the manner of parental behavior, the nature of communication and the characteristics of relationships with children.

The consequence of this belief is that parents are decidedly unaware of how to deal with a child showing negative emotions.

The following styles of parental behavior stand out:

1. "Commander General". This style excludes alternatives, keeps events under control and does not allow negative emotions to be expressed. Such parents consider orders, commands and threats designed to effectively control the situation as the main means of influencing the child.
2. "Parent Psychologist". Some parents act as a psychologist and try to analyze the problem. They ask questions aimed at diagnosis, interpretation and evaluation, assuming that they have higher knowledge. This fundamentally kills the child's attempts to open his feelings. The parent psychologist seeks to delve into all the details for the sole purpose of guiding the child along the right path.
3. "Referee". This style of parental behavior allows the child to be considered guilty and sentencing. The only thing such a parent strives for is to prove himself right.
4. "Priest". The style of parental behavior, close to the teacher. Teachings come down mainly to moralizing about what is happening. Unfortunately, this style is faceless and has no success in solving family problems.
5. "Cynic". Such parents are usually full of sarcasm and try, one way or another, to humiliate the child. His main “weapon” is ridicule, nicknames, sarcasm or jokes that can “put a child on the shoulder blades”.

In addition, the styles of parental behavior discussed above in no way motivate the child to improve, but only undermine main goal Help him learn how to solve problems. The parent will only achieve that the child will feel rejected. And when a child experiences negative feelings towards himself, he becomes withdrawn, does not want to communicate with others, analyze his feelings and behavior.

At the same time, among the unfavorable factors of family education, they note, first of all, such as an incomplete family, immoral lifestyle of parents, asocial antisocial views and orientations of parents, their low general educational level, pedagogical failure of the family, emotional-conflict relations in the family.

Obviously, the general educational level of parents, the presence or absence of a complete family testify to such important conditions for family education as the general cultural level of the family, its ability to develop spiritual needs, cognitive interests of children, that is, to fully perform the functions of an institution of socialization. At the same time, factors such as parental education and family composition in themselves do not yet characterize the lifestyle of the family with full certainty. value orientations parents, the ratio of the material and spiritual needs of the family, its psychological climate and emotional relationships.

The presence of this or that social risk factor does not mean the mandatory occurrence of social deviations in the behavior of children, it only indicates a greater degree of probability of these deviations. At the same time, some social risk factors show their negative influence quite stably and constantly, while others either strengthen or weaken their influence over time.

Among the functionally incompetent, unable to cope with the upbringing of children, the majority of families are families characterized by unfavorable socio-psychological factors, the so-called conflict families, where spouse relations are chronically aggravated, and pedagogically incompetent families with a low psychological and pedagogical culture of parents, the wrong style of child-parent relations. A wide variety of incorrect styles of parent-child relationships are observed: rigidly authoritarian, pedantic-suspicious, persuasive, inconsistent, detached-indifferent, condoning-indulgent, etc. As a rule, parents with socio-psychological and psychological-pedagogical problems are aware of their difficulties, strive to seek help from teachers, psychologists, but not always without the help of a specialist they are able to cope with them, understand their mistakes, the characteristics of their child, rebuild the style of relationships in the family, get out of a protracted intra-family, school or other conflict.

At the same time, there are a significant number of families who are not aware of their problems, the conditions in which, nevertheless, are so difficult that they threaten the life and health of children. These are, as a rule, families with criminal risk factors, where parents, due to their antisocial or criminal lifestyle, do not create elementary conditions for raising children, abuse of children and women is allowed, and children and adolescents are involved in criminal and antisocial activities.

greatest danger in terms of their negative impact on children, criminal-immoral families represent them. The life of children in such families due to abuse, drunken brawls, sexual promiscuity of parents, lack of elementary care for the maintenance of children is often in jeopardy. These are the so-called social orphans (orphans with living parents), whose upbringing should be entrusted to state public care. Otherwise, the child will experience early vagrancy, runaways from home, complete social vulnerability both from abuse in the family and from the criminalizing influence of criminal formations.

Antisocial-immoral families which, with their specific socio-psychological characteristics, require a different approach.

In practice, asocial-immoral families most often include families with frank acquisitive orientations, living on the principle “the end justifies the means”, in which there are no moral norms and restrictions. Outwardly, the situation in these families may look quite decent, the standard of living is quite high, but spiritual values ​​are replaced by exclusively acquisitive orientations with very illegible means of achieving them. Such families, despite their external respectability, due to their distorted moral ideas, also have a direct influence on children, directly instilling in them antisocial views and value orientations.

A different approach is required by families with indirect influence - conflicting and pedagogically untenable.

Conflict family, in which, for various psychological reasons, the personal relationships of the spouses are built not on the principle of mutual respect and understanding, but on the principle of conflict, alienation.

Pedagogically untenable Like conflict families, families do not have a direct influence on children. The formation of antisocial orientations in children in these families occurs because due to pedagogical errors, a difficult moral and psychological atmosphere, the educational role of the family is lost here, and in terms of the degree of its impact, it begins to yield to other institutions of socialization that play an unfavorable role.

In practice, pedagogically incompetent families turn out to be the most difficult to identify the causes and adverse conditions that have had a negative impact on children, most often characterized by the most typical, incorrectly developed pedagogical styles in functionally incompetent families that cannot cope with raising children.

condescending style when parents do not attach importance to the misconduct of children, do not see anything terrible in them, they believe that “all children are like that”, or they reason like this: “We ourselves were the same. The position of all-round defense, which can also be occupied by a certain part of the parents, building their relationships with others on the principle of "our child is always right." Such parents are very aggressive towards anyone who points out the wrong behavior of their children. Children from such families suffer from particularly severe defects in moral consciousness, they are deceitful and cruel, and it is very difficult to re-educate.

Demonstrative style when parents, more often a mother, do not hesitate to complain to anyone and everyone about their child, talk about his misdeeds on every corner, clearly exaggerating the degree of their danger, declare aloud that their son is growing up as a “bandit” and so on. This leads to the child's loss of modesty, a sense of remorse for his actions, removes internal control over his behavior, and there is anger towards adults and parents.

Pedantic-suspicious style, in which parents do not believe, do not trust their children, subject them to offensive total control, try to completely isolate them from peers, friends, strive to absolutely control the child's free time, his range of interests, activities, communication.

Rigid authoritarian style characteristic of parents who abuse physical punishment. The father is more inclined to this style of relationship, striving for any reason to severely beat the child, believing that there is only one effective educational method - physical violence. Children usually in such cases grow up aggressive, cruel, tend to offend the weak, small, defenseless.

Persuasive style, which, in contrast to the rigidly authoritarian style, in this case, parents show complete helplessness towards their children, prefer to exhort, endlessly persuade, explain, not apply any volitional influences and punishments.

Aloof and indifferent style arises, as a rule, in families where parents, in particular the mother, are absorbed in the arrangement of their personal lives. Having remarried, the mother finds neither time nor spiritual strength for her children from her first marriage, she is indifferent both to the children themselves and to their actions. Children are left to their own devices, they feel superfluous, they tend to be at home less, they perceive with pain the indifferently detached attitude of their mother.

Parenting by the type of "family idol" often occurs in relation to "late children", when a long-awaited child is finally born to elderly parents or a single woman. In such cases, they are ready to pray for the child, all his requests and whims are fulfilled, extreme egocentrism, selfishness is formed, the first victims of which are the parents themselves.

Inconsistent style - when parents, especially mothers, do not have enough endurance, self-control to implement consistent educational tactics in the family. There are sharp emotional swings in relations with children - from punishment, tears, swearing to touching and caressing manifestations, which leads to the loss of parental influence on children. A teenager becomes uncontrollable, unpredictable, neglecting the opinion of elders and parents. We need a patient, firm, consistent line of behavior of the educator, the psychologist.

The examples listed are far from exhausting the typical mistakes of family education. However, it is much more difficult to correct them than to detect them, since the pedagogical miscalculations of family education most often have a protracted chronic character. The cold, alienated, and sometimes hostile relations between parents and children, which have lost their warmth and mutual understanding, are especially difficult to fix and severe in their consequences. Mutual alienation, hostility, helplessness of parents in such cases sometimes comes to the point that they themselves turn to the police for help, commission on juvenile affairs, they ask that their son, daughter be sent to a special vocational school, to a special school. In a number of cases, this measure really turns out to be justified, since all means have been exhausted at home, and the restructuring of relations that has not taken place in a timely manner becomes practically impossible due to the aggravation of conflicts and mutual hostility.

Errors in family pedagogy are especially pronounced in the system of punishments and rewards practiced in the family. In these matters, special caution, prudence, a sense of proportion are needed, prompted by parental intuition and love. Both excessive connivance and excessive cruelty of parents are equally dangerous in raising a child.

Ministry of Education of the Russian Federation

PSLU

Course work

in psychology on the topic:

"Children from disadvantaged families"

Full-time 3rd year students

faculty in English 301 groups

Kiseleva Olga Viktorovna

Scientific adviser: Shavoleva N.M.

Pyatigorsk

I Introduction

II Types of dysfunctional families

one). Alcohol family

2). Criminally - immoral family

3). Immorally - associative family

4). Conflict family

5). Pedagogically unsuccessful family

III parenting mistakes

IV Psychological help for children

from disadvantaged families

We are accustomed to consider the family as a center of peace and love, where a person is surrounded by the closest and dearest people. However, upon closer examination, it turns out that this is not the case. The family more and more often resembles a theater of military operations, an arena of fierce disputes, mutual accusations and threats, and often comes to the use of physical force. For a long time it was believed: all these are delicate matters, inside - family ... But the consequences of such violence are too painful and extensive. Too broadly and deeply they respond to the fate of adults and children, so that it could remain a "private matter" ... The number of children living in dysfunctional families is unknown, but there is reason to believe that it is high.

As a result of the increase in the number of divorces, more than half a million children are left without a parent every year. The number of lawsuits for deprivation is constantly growing parental rights. Today, 15,000 parents are registered with the police and have a negative influence on their children. The results of sampling studies show that in Lately domestic violence, including sexual violence, is widespread. According to the Arbsky Center for Social and Forensic Psychiatry, children aged 6-7 are especially often affected. Of these, 70% lag behind in mental and physical development, suffer from various psycho-emotional disorders. Every year, ten thousand children under the age of 14 die from injuries and poisoning in the country. Children from disadvantaged families were found to be 7 times more likely to have supicide attempts, 3 times more likely to be placed in an orphanage or similar state institutions, 2 times more likely to get married early, 2 times more likely to have mental illness , 2 times more likely to have delinquent behavior. Many children leave home and become homeless. It is one thing when a homeless child is 16-18 years old, i.e. he is able to make decisions and evaluate his own actions. And it is quite another thing when parents drink deeply, they themselves wander and the child is left to himself. Does he want to live on the street, sleep where he has to, steal or beg so as not to starve to death? My answer is clear. Obviously, part of the problems can be explained by the system of education in the family. And it seems to me that today we need a state program that would allow saving children.

We are talking about children from dysfunctional families, i.e. about children, about dysfunctional families, about what happens to a child if he ends up in a dysfunctional family. What is a dysfunctional family? It is impossible to answer in one word. After all, everything in the world is relative - both well-being and trouble in relation to the child. But after all, children are all different: some are more enduring, others are not, some are vulnerable, but all react, and others are all tryn-grass, you can’t get through them. Therefore, to talk about a child from a dysfunctional family means to say:

1) . What are dysfunctional families?

2) . What are the children with their psychological and psychopathological problems, defeated

over-regulation of family ills.

3) . How does family trouble affect a child who is prone to an aggravated response to all sorts of adverse factors.

4) . How a sick child can disturb the peace of the family, cause irritation, anger, impatience, etc. in parents. those. turn the family into a dysfunctional one, and the latter, in turn, can further aggravate the mental state of the child.

5) . What should teachers do to help the child, because it is not his fault that he lives in a dysfunctional family.

A dysfunctional family for a child is not a synonym for an antisocial or asocial family. There are a great many families about which nothing bad can be said from a formal point of view, but nevertheless, for a given child, this family is dysfunctional. Of course, the family of a drunkard or a hooligan will be unfavorable for any child, but in most cases the concept of an unfavorable family can only arise in relation to a specific child who is affected by this unfavorable situation. There are different families, different children meet, so that only the system of relations "family - child" has the right to be considered as prosperous or dysfunctional.

The family may be incomplete. It may be complete, but with a contradictory upbringing or with an upbringing that suppresses the child, or with organized conditions, etc. Sometimes an incomplete family is more useful for a child than an incomplete one. Although complete (let's say the father is a drunkard who terrorizes the family, then he finally leaves the family, the family breathes a sigh of relief, peace reigns in it). There are outwardly good relations in the family, but parents, overly busy with their production affairs, pay little attention to the child - this can also lead to bad consequences for the vulnerable soul of a small person.

Divorces also affect the child. Parents get divorced and do not think about the fate of their children, their warped childhood and warped spiritual life. Children will grow up and, remembering how their parents behaved, will continue their path. Or become cynics, or lonely, or some other, but in any case - unhappy. Defects in upbringing are the first and most important indicator of a dysfunctional family. Neither material, nor everyday, nor prestigious indicators characterize the degree of well-being of the family or trouble - only the attitude towards the child.

Trouble in the family to one degree or another almost always leads to trouble in the mental development of the child. Not in the sense of stupidity or some other violations, for example, of the intellect, but in the sense of disharmony in the maturation of the emotional-volitional sphere, i.e. predominantly human nature. And what is the character, such are the relationships of a person with other people, such is his happiness.

One of the most powerful unfavorable factors that destroy not only the family, but also the mental balance of the child is the drunkenness of the parents. It can be cancerous for the baby, not only at the time of conception of the fetus and during pregnancy, but throughout the life of the child.

Whatever aspect of the problem of deviations from the normal psycho-physical development of a child we touch upon, we are almost always forced to talk about the pernicious influence of parents' drunkenness. Because of this ominous phenomenon, the child learns bad examples, because of this there is a general lack of any education. , because of this, children lose their parents and end up in orphanages, etc.

The vast majority of the negative examples that we give, one way or another, have their cause in the drunkenness of adults. When they talk about the harm brought by drunkards to their children, it seems to be difficult to surprise here: people seem to have become accustomed to this ugly phenomenon. They just got used to it in vain, put up with it in vain. The whole world needs to fight against drunkenness, which inevitably cripples children.

Drunkards not only liken themselves to children and adolescents who, due to their immaturity, cannot resist pernicious traditions. Drunkenness is the cause of many neuroses and behavioral disorders in family members of drunkards. In the vast majority of cases, various mental disorders in children are caused by the drunkenness of parents, their social degradation, hooliganism, and poor self-control. If because of drunkards - fathers children become neurotic, then from drunkards - mothers are often born mentally handicapped children. But while scientists are arguing about who is more to blame - drunken fathers or drunken mothers, or all together, it is necessary to fight everyday drunkenness and its consequences by all means. - alcoholic disease.

Psychological characteristics of children:

Children know that people condemn drunkenness, blame them for being bad parents. Therefore, the children strive with all their might to hide the shame of the family. Children cannot speak frankly about their family either with friends or with teachers. The habit of hiding makes it necessary to ignore reality. Secrecy, subterfuge, deception become the usual components of life. As a result, everyone becomes suspicious and spiteful. Lessons learned in childhood are reinforced by the fact that family members never honestly discuss what is not going on. And open communications cease to exist. Secrets invariably give impetus to envy, jealousy. The more secrecy, the more confusion of guilt, struggle, fights, separation of family members and isolation, loneliness.

Death is very common in an alcoholic family. Just as drunkenness must be hidden, quarrels must also be kept secret, because it was their fault. Quarrels both at the verbal level and accompanied by physical aggression have not only a traumatic effect on the child. Constant observation of how parents provoke each other, argue, make noise, leads to the fact that children learn a similar style of relationships between people in general."Moskalenko"

In alcoholic families, both the ill and non-ill parent often do not keep their promises. One disappointment, then another. All this depresses the child. And faithful family traditions keep everything a secret, children never tell their parents about their difficult feelings. And as adults, they continue to anticipate disappointment, distrust in both casual and intimate relationships. The passionate desire to have constant care for themselves on the part of their parents remains for a long time with children from such families. They may remain infantile, immature in relationships with peers."Moskalenko" At the same time, children in such families are forced to quickly become adults. Children feel responsible for younger brothers and sisters. Drinking parents need their physical and emotional support. Children have to listen, approve their parents, make their life more or less convenient, comfortable. Indeed, children become the parents of their parents. Kids cover up the disorganization family life. And later they have a vague feeling that they missed something that they were due, that they deserved, and they continue to fight to return their share of attention. , children's joys . They do not understand frivolity, liberty. Such people do not know how to enjoy life.

Lack of care and attention to the child can also be a parenting style in an alcoholic family. Such an attitude towards the child is only part of the rules that reign in the family. A drunken father, lying on the floor, the children step over him, as if not noticing. Or the mother may suffer from alcoholism herself, or be absorbed by her husband's alcohol problems, spend all her energy on them, and at this time the children live without her attention. Children do not bathe, do not brush their teeth. The lack of care is only the beginning of the general neglect of the child."Moskalenko"

If children constantly hear in the family that the father should earn money, not drink, they may begin to confuse money with love and attention. When friends need attention, such children can get rid of them with gifts.

The emotional needs of children in alcoholic families are also not given due attention. And children will not learn how to enter the state of another person. They also do not learn the elementary duties of parents, which makes it difficult for them to adapt in their future life.

noah family."Moskalenko"

"Sexual Insult". So, if a girl is forced to increasingly replace her alcoholic

If a mother is in the household chores, in taking care of younger children, then one day it may happen that she will replace her mother with her father in his sexual harassment. Often the husbands of alcoholic women are also alcoholics. In the event that the father is not ill with alcoholism, his thoughts and feelings turn to " female half home”, to daughters, if the mother is sick and absent physically and emotionally. Then the father seeks friendship and recognition from his daughters. Close relationships with daughters can slip into the realm of sexual relations."Moskalenko"

Sexual abuse is understood not only as explicit rape, but also as a covert encroachment on free sexual development.

Overt and covert sexual aggression towards children is a fairly common occurrence in families with an alcoholic. Even in the absence of physical contact, the actions of an adult that disrupt the development of the child's sexuality, interfere with the acquisition of one's own experience in this direction, can be regarded as subtle, hidden sexual aggression. It is believed that the consequences of both covert and overt sexual aggression are always severe and long-term. The nature of the consequences is compared to what alcoholism itself leaves behind: feelings of worthlessness, loss of control over one's life, and an overwhelming dependence on this absolute and greatest family secret. Guilt, shame, self-hatred, despair, depression, victimization in all life situations, passivity,

promiscuity - this is not a complete list of what may be associated with an act of incest, or with a hidden sexual abuse that took place in childhood.

If you were a victim of incest, then it is very important for you to tell someone who inspires your confidence about what happened. If he doesn't believe you, find someone else who can help you and your family. If you don't want your abuser to get in trouble, remember that telling the truth is the first step in not only stopping sex crimes, but helping the perpetrator."Moskalenko"

Children and adolescents who have experienced sexual abuse have a particular behavior, and if the psychological characteristics of such children are known, adults working with children might assume that the child may be experiencing abuse. It should be noted that these signs are not specific

logical for sexual violence, however, according to both foreign and our researchers, children who have experienced sexual violence demonstrate the following features:

Preschool children

- tormented by nightmares;

- fears;

- they suddenly start behaving like younger children;

- play sexual games with themselves, peers or toys;

- engaged in open masturbation;

- prone to neuropsychiatric disorders (including enuresis and encopresis);

Children of primary school age

- experiencing difficulties at school;

- close in themselves, fenced off from adults, including parents;

- their relationships with peers worsen;

- role behavior changes;

- they fantasize excessively;

- sometimes behave sexually;

- for no apparent reason suffer from pain in the abdomen;

High school children, teenagers

- fall into childhood;

- run away from home

- they have low self-esteem;

- engaged in prostitution;

- make suicide attempts;

- consume alcohol and drugs;

- demonstrate defiant, sexual behavior;

- for no apparent reason they appear various diseases: allergies, abdominal pain, headaches.

Oddly enough, but most of the little tramps have parents - both a mother and a father. Usually these are drunkards and alcoholics, against whom proceedings are initiated for the deprivation of parental rights. How else? Mom and dad are not only not engaged in raising a child, they simply do not notice him. Sometimes staying at home poses a direct threat to the life and health of children. Drinking parties (and even dens) are constantly arranged in the apartments. Not only do children see all this debauchery, but often they themselves become participants in it. In childhood, as you know, an idea of ​​​​a way of life is formed. It develops gradually, but over the years it becomes so stable that it is almost impossible to remake, change it. Suppose a child is severely beaten at home. He runs away from home and thus escapes from regular beatings. The subconscious immediately distinguishes this: it's good. Or, parents drink everything on drink and there is not even a crust of bread in the house, and on the street you can steal or beg for food. The child's subconscious again fixes a positive emotion. The same thing happens at school. The child is lagging behind, does not learn the material, they laugh at him - this hurts painfully. But in his environment, in the basement, in the attic, he is a king, enjoys authority. In a word, the fates of little runaways are stories about how children could not cope with the life problems facing them and found, so to speak, workarounds. In any case, initially the blame lies with the parents, because they either did not want to help their son or daughter overcome the difficulties that had arisen, or by their behavior they themselves created unbearable conditions for the child. Most of the children. Falling into shelters from the street, sick. Mental retardation, oligophrenia of varying degrees are common diagnoses. Almost without exception, pedagogically neglected, their vocabulary is limited, because no one studied with them. Among twelve - thirteen year olds, there are often drug addicts, drug addicts.

These children know more about life than other adults. Too much they had to endure and experience. Here they brought one girl and she turned out to be pregnant. And she's only twelve years old. And this is no exception.

Every child who has taken a sip of independence needs help. Some need a doctor, others need a psychologist, and others just need a good attitude. The main task is to give boys and girls the right idea about life. But this problem must be approached differently, according to age. Until the age of twelve or thirteen, it is still possible to influence the children's consciousness, but as practice shows, it is almost impossible to change the older ones. Although... finding themselves in a normal environment and forced to behave decently, even the most inveterate scammers gradually forget their past "merits". There was one girl who should have been more accurately called a little woman. At the age of 13, she could no longer live without a man. But after a while, it became enough just to look at her more strictly: “Like, what’s the matter?” and all, she took herself in hand.

It is clear that the future of these guys largely depends on where and to whom they end up. In most-

In most cases, they need to be dragged, that is, to help with the choice of profession, housing, and arrangements in life. If they are left to themselves, then many will certainly face a rather difficult future. They are too unstable. They have lost too much and important period in their lives. It is difficult for them to be like everyone else, and then society puts pressure on them with a vengeance.

"Buyanova"

Given enough a large number reasons for the functional failure of the family, there are very diverse approaches to the typology and classification of such families. As a system-forming criterion in compiling a typology of functionally insolvent families, I use the nature of the desocializing influence exerted by such families on their children.

Families with direct desocializing influence demonstrate antisocial behavior and antisocial orientations, thus acting as an institution of desocialization.

These include criminal-immoral families, in which criminal risk factors predominate, and immoral-asocial families, which are characterized by antisocial attitudes and orientations.

A family with an indirect desocializing influence experiences difficulties of a socio-psychological and psychological-pedagogical nature, expressed in violations of marital and parent-child relationships, these are the so-called conflict and pedagogically insolvent families, which more often, due to psychological reasons, lose their influence on children.

Criminal and immoral families pose the greatest danger in terms of their negative impact on children. The life of children in such families due to abuse, drunken brawls, sexual promiscuity of parents, lack of elementary care for the maintenance of children is often in jeopardy. These are the so-called social orphans (orphans with living parents), whose upbringing should be entrusted to the state-public

no care. Otherwise, the child will experience early vagrancy, runaways from home, complete social vulnerability both from abuse in the family and from the criminalizing influence of criminal formations."Belicheva"

Considering the acute social disadvantage and criminality that characterize these families, it is advisable to entrust social work with them to the employees of the juvenile affairs inspectorates, imputing to them social patronage and social and legal protection of children from criminally immoral families. Moreover, the criminogenic danger of such families of such families extends not only to their own children. Around such houses, as a rule, there are whole companies of neighboring children who, thanks to adults, are introduced to alcohol, vagrancy, theft and begging, a criminal subculture.

Here are a few examples of a criminal-immoral family:

Nikolai F., despite the fact that he is 13 years old, has been studying in the 3rd grade for more than three years, is registered with the JP for systematic absences from classes, vagrancy. For the last two years, he has practically not studied at school, appears at home sporadically, spends time in the company of street friends. In this case, the family only has a negative impact on the child. Parents believe that since they have three classes of education, then this is quite enough for their son. Mother and father are alcoholics, they work as janitors, the house is completely unsanitary. The house does not have the necessary furniture, dishes, bed linen, often there is no food. Parents periodically suffer from hard drinking, the mother, during drunken sprees, regardless of her husband and children, brings strangers into the house or herself disappears from the house for a long time. In addition to Nikolai, the family has two younger children. All measures of administrative and social influence on the family in this case turned out to be ineffective, one thing is necessary - the removal of children from such an obviously pernicious situation and transfer to state public care. Neither the inspector nor the commission on juvenile affairs took these measures, the only possible ones in this case, in a timely manner. The inspectorate was waiting for an initiative from the school, the school - from the inspectorate. As a result, time was lost for Nikolai. The same with such indecision awaits his younger brothers.

Here are more examples of criminal and immoral families in which the further stay of the child is also not possible.

Alexander T., 12 years old, studies poorly, systematically plays truant, wanders, commits petty thefts. The mother has died, the teenager lives with his father, who is not involved in raising the child. Recently, my older brother returned from prison. Either the drunken company of the father or the brother's friends constantly gather at the apartment. It is clear that such an environment is a dangerous criminal environment for both Alexander and his friends. However, the issue of transferring Alexander to a boarding school for the same reasons was resolved within two years.

Dima N. 9 years old. Parents drank heavily, debauched-rily, the father was convicted, the mother constantly does not work anywhere, leads an immoral lifestyle, lives at the expense of frequently changing cohabitants, often and for a long time leaves home, leaves the child unattended, in the care of neighbors or an elderly helpless grandmother . The boy does not have the most elementary conditions for life and study, and often remains hungry. The decision on the issue of transferring Dima to a boarding school was also unjustifiably delayed."Belicheva"

The examples considered allow us to get a fairly clear idea of ​​the criminal-immoral families and the measures of preventive action necessary in relation to them. Timely and decisive measures taken in relation to such families could significantly reduce their dangerous criminogenic influence on their own and other people's children. However, this does not happen, since the prevention authorities do not have a clear idea of ​​which of them should primarily deal with such families. Not only are the bodies and social institutions whose competence includes the social and legal protection and support of children who have lost parental care due to the moral behavior of the social degradation of their parents not clearly defined, but the legal framework for the protection and protection of childhood has not been sufficiently worked out. As a rule, we resort only to the last resort - the deprivation of parental rights, while less painful for children and more effective in influencing degraded parents would be measures for the temporary removal of children from immoral families with their temporary transfer to be raised in other families, or in orphanages. Other preventive measures should be applied to families in which functional failure has other causes. So, for example, asocial-immoral families, which, although they belong to families with direct desocializing influence, nevertheless, in accordance with their specific socio-psychological characteristics, require a different approach.

In practice, asocial-immoral families are most often classified as families with frank acquisitive orientations, living on the principle of “the end justifies the means”, in which there are no moral norms and restrictions. The external situation in these families may look quite favorable, the standard of living is quite high, but spiritual values ​​are replaced by exclusively acquisitive orientations with very illegible means of their achievements. Such families, despite their external respectability, due to their exclusively moral ideas, also have a direct desocializing effect on children, directly instilling in them antisocial views and value orientations."Belicheva"

The family of Natasha K. (15 years old, 8th grade) can serve as an example of an asocial-immoral family. Natasha is registered for depraved immoral behavior, was repeatedly detained by combatants in a drunken state in the company of the same drunken teenagers.

She studies poorly, is extremely rude to the teacher, classmates, cruel, arrogant with her friends, beats her peers. He lives with his mother, a trade worker. Mom is one of the people who "know how to live", at home - full prosperity, carpets, crystal, expensive things. Mom broke up with Natasha's father, because he did not approve of her moral promiscuity,

and she, accordingly, attributed him to the number of losers, called him "loose", etc.

Natasha's mother is characterized by a cynical attitude towards spiritual values ​​and moral qualities of people. All the virtues of a person are determined by the possibilities to get, to have, etc.

The daughter has surpassed her mother in cynicism, has no authority, is very rude to her mother, who has lost all opportunities to influence her daughter's behavior. He resorts to extreme measures, beats his daughter, locks her in the apartment with a key.

The point of view of those who consider it necessary to remove children from socially immoral families is hardly justified. Despite the negative impact that such parents have on children, there is no formal reason for making a decision to remove a child from these families. In relation to such parents and children, corrective methods based on the principles of “reverse socialization” are most applicable, when through maturing children, who quite clearly reflect the internal appearance of their parents, parents rethink their own positions. However, a significant drawback of reverse socialization methods is their belatedness; insight often comes too late to significantly change something in the personality of a teenager. A different approach is required by families with indirect desocializing influence - conflict and pedagogical insolvent."Belicheva"

A conflict family in which, for various psychological reasons, the personal relationships of the spouses are built not on the principle of mutual respect and understanding, but on the principle of a conflict of alienation.

Conflict families can be both noisy, scandalous, where raised tones, irritability become the norm of relations between spouses,

and “quiet”, where the relationship of the spouses is characterized by complete alienation, the desire to knock down any interaction. In all cases, a conflict family negatively affects the formation of a child's personality and can cause various asocial manifestations."Belicheva"

For example, the family of Edik F., aged 15, who has been registered with the JN for the third year, studies poorly, is impudent to teachers, fights with kids, takes money from them, started smoking early, drinks, and is difficult to re-educate. Outwardly, his family looks quite prosperous, a good apartment, full prosperity, parents lead a sober lifestyle, good production workers, take care of children. Mother works as a department head in a department store, father is a foreman at a factory. However, the relationship between the parents is very alienated, like a hidden chronic conflict. The mother accuses the father of the inability to live, the father, in turn, suspects his wife of adultery. In all skirmishes he prefers to remain silent, stays late at work and comes home only to spend the night. He practically does not talk to his children or his wife. There is a painful, oppressive atmosphere in the house, which has a hard effect on children, makes them "prickly", immune to the pedagogical influences of teachers, public educators, enshrined in the JDN.

Here is another example - the family of Dima L., 11 years old, is registered for systematic absences, neglect of studies, vagrancy. Father is a driver, mother is a housewife. The family lives in a workers' hostel. The usual way parents communicate is scandal. The initiator of scandals is the mother. She turns to screaming for any reason and without reason, She does not hesitate to tell her neighbors about all the duties of her husband, she is dissatisfied with him. Dima literally does not have a quiet moment at home to prepare lessons and relax. He prefers to spend time on the street where he runs away, also from school in the event that he does not learn his lessons, which naturally happens to him quite often.

As you can see, in conflict families, the desocializing influence does not manifest itself directly through patterns of immoral behavior or antisocial attitudes of parents; here there is an indirect desocializing influence exerted due to chronically complicated, unhealthy relationships between parents.

In working with families where the relationship of spouses is chronically complicated and is actually on the verge of collapse, a teacher, a social worker, a practical

chesky psychologist, in fact, must perform psycho -

therapeutic features. That is, in a conversation with parents, it is necessary to carefully listen to both sides, try, if possible, to repay the displeasure of the spouses with each other, show the reasons that lead to an aggravation of relations, consolidate the relationship of the spouses, primarily on the basis of the interests of the child.

Among the families of adolescents registered with the JN, the most common are pedagogically incompetent families in which, under relatively favorable conditions (a healthy family atmosphere, leading a correct lifestyle and caring parents), relationships with children are incorrectly formulated, serious pedagogical miscalculations are made, leading to various asocial manifestations in the minds and behavior of children."Belicheva"

A pedagogically untenable family, like a conflict family, does not have a direct desocializing effect on children. The formation of antisocial orientations in children in these families occurs because due to pedagogical errors, a difficult moral and psychological atmosphere, the educational role of the family is lost here, and in terms of the degree of its influence, it begins to yield to other institutions of socialization that play an unfavorable role.

A pedagogically inept family, first of all, needs a psychological and pedagogical correction of the style of family education and the nature of the relationship between parents and children as the main factors that determine their indirect desocializing influence. These families first of all need the help of a psychologist who can help parents analyze the situation, adjust their style and the nature of their relationship with the child."Belicheva"

In practice, pedagogically incompetent families are the most difficult to identify the causes and adverse conditions that have a negative impact on children. In order to identify the unfavorable factors of family education in such a family, it is necessary, as a rule, to get to know each other for a long time and to establish trusting relationships with both children and parents. Generalization of long-term observations that were carried out in the process of individual socio-pedagogical work with such families made it possible to single out the following most typical, incorrectly developed pedagogical styles in functionally bankrupt families that are unable to cope with the upbringing of children.

condescending style , when

parents do not attach importance to the misconduct of children, they do not see anything terrible in them, they believe that “all children are like that”, or they reason like this: “we ourselves were like that”. In such cases, it can be difficult for a teacher or psychologist to change the complacent, complacent mood of such parents, to force them to seriously respond to problematic moments in the child's behavior.

All-round defense position , which can also be occupied by a certain part of the parents, building their relationships with others according to the principle "our child is always right." Such parents are very aggressive towards everyone. Who points out the wrong behavior of their children. Even the commission of a serious crime by a teenager in this case does not sober up moms and dads. They continue to look for the perpetrators on the side. Children from such families suffer from particularly severe defects in moral consciousness, they are deceitful and cruel, and it is very difficult to re-educate.

Demonstrative style when parents, more often a mother, do not hesitate to complain to anyone and everyone about their child, talk at every corner about his misdeeds, clearly exaggerating the degree of their danger, declare aloud that their son is growing up as a “bandit” and so on. This leads to the child's loss of modesty, a sense of remorse for his actions, removes internal control over his behavior, and there is anger towards adults and parents.

Pedagogical-suspicious a style in which parents do not trust their children, subject them to offensive total control, try to completely isolate them from their peers, friends, strive to absolutely control the child's free time, range of his interests, communication activities. So, in this regard, the example of the behavior of Dima S.'s mother, who is registered for stealing a bicycle, is indicative. Dima is in the 5th grade, he is very closed, taciturn. Mom is concerned about the fact of registration, strives not to let him out of her sight for a minute. After school, the boy must go to her work, where, under her supervision, he prepares lessons. Then they return home, the mother does not leave her son in the room, even alone with the teacher assigned to him. She is always present during their conversation, she herself answers all the questions that the teacher asks the teenager, forbids any of her friends from entering the house, and does not let Dima go outside. The boy grows gloomy, looks frowningly, resembles a hunted animal, does not love anyone, does not feel affection for anyone, is embittered.

Rigid authoritarian style inherent in parents who abuse physical punishment. The father is more inclined to this style of relationship, striving for any reason to severely beat the child, believing that there is only one effective educational method - physical violence. Children usually in such cases grow up aggressive, cruel, tend to offend the weak, small, defenseless. Representatives of prevention agencies should protect children from parental cruelty, while using all available means of influence - from persuasion to administrative - -y head compulsion, protected the child from cruelty.

Persuasive style . Parents show complete helplessness in relation to their children, they prefer to exhort, endlessly persuade, explain, not apply any volitional influences and punishments. Children in such families, as they say, "sit on their heads." In this case, the social educator needs firmness, exactingness both in relation to the minor and his parents.

Aloof and indifferent style arises in families where parents, in particular the mother, are absorbed in the arrangement of their personal lives. Having remarried, the mother does not find time or spiritual strength for her children from her first marriage, she is indifferent both to the children themselves and to their actions. Children are left to their own devices, they feel superfluous, they tend to be at home less, they perceive with pain the mother's indifferently detached attitude. Such children gratefully accept the interested, benevolent attitude from the elder, are able to become attached to the boss, educator, treat them with great warmth, trust, which helps in educational work.

Helping a Lost Child:

1). It is necessary to let him feel that he belongs to a class, a group, that he is not rejected and occupies a very important place in the team and corresponds to this place.

2). If the child is included in a group, emphasize that this is good. But do not force the child to live in a herd, be sure to be in a team. Remember that every child needs to be alone with himself.

3). Encourage your child to allow himself a pleasant pastime, entertainment that requires interaction with others. This is better for such a child than studying alone.

4). Expose his prints, essays and other things that may be of interest to others. This will increase the child's self-confidence, a sense of self-esteem.

5). It is very useful to praise the child when he expresses any constructive thoughts.

6). Choose a subject in which the child shows the greatest interest, involve the child in working on these subjects, have him demonstrate to the class that he can bring something of value to this area.

7). Help your child understand and express their feelings through safe, safe channels such as drawing, woodworking, puppet making, storytelling, music, and more.

8) . Ask your child for help in finding a solution to a problem. Many timid children hide everything, including their exceptional intellectual abilities, and teachers may sometimes be unaware of a child's potential.

9). Draw a diagram with your child to find out who he would like to work with in a group and who in the class has the greatest influence on him. Choose a partner for your child and plan with him a plan of action in which they can work well together.

10). Write down every day how many times you addressed the lost child and how many times you said different remarks, comments about him. Check the list at the end of the day; this will be a reminder of how you work, as well as what progress the child is making."Moskalenko"

Parenting by the type of "family idol" often occurs in relation to "late children", when the long-awaited child is finally born to elderly parents or a single woman. In such cases, they are ready to pray for a child. All his requests and whims are fulfilled, extreme egocentrism, selfishness is formed, the first victims of which are the parents themselves.

Help "family idol":

1). Give him as much attention as possible, try to get to know him better by talking one on one.

2). Try to win his trust. If this happens, the child will drop the mask of the lucky lucky one and open up to you.

3). Help your child understand that there is no need to hide them, that it is normal to experience such feelings. Write a story about someone who is always laughing through tears invisible to the world. It can also be a kind of message to the child.

4). Take the clown doll; Explain how a clown can feel, what he has inside (sadness) when he makes others laugh. And then let the doll play the same role in the hands of the child himself.

5). It is good if the child can express himself in any creative activity - in drawing, in music.

6). Do not miss the opportunity to emphasize what feelings are appropriate to express in this or that case. We laugh at funny things, but become sad when things go wrong. We get irritated when someone hurts us. If the child laughs when someone is feeling bad, encourage him to think about this situation and in a normal voice - by no means annoyed! - say: “It was not funny at all when Vasya fell. He hurt his leg, he was in a lot of pain."

7). For older children, suggest keeping a diary with entries - daily and weekly. Make sure no one reads it. Tell your child that he can talk to you about everything he cares about, at any time - either face to face, or through this diary."Moskalenko"

Inconsistent style - when the parents, especially the mother, do not have enough endurance, self-control to implement consistent educational tactics in the family. There are sharp emotional swings in relations with children - from punishment, tears, swearing to touching and caressing manifestations, which leads to the loss of parental influence on children. A teenager becomes uncontrollable, unpredictable, neglecting the opinion of elders and parents. We need a patient, firm, consistent line of behavior of the educator, the psychologist."Belicheva"

The examples listed are far from exhaustive.

typical errors of family upbringing are being tried. For the attentive eye of a teacher, a psychologist, these errors are not difficult to distinguish. However, it is much more difficult to correct them than to detect them, since pedagogical miscalculations in family education most often have a protracted chronic character. Cold, alienated, and sometimes even hostile relations between parents and children that have lost their warmth and relationship are especially difficult to fix and difficult in their consequences.

To human relations, including family relations, as well as to the feelings that color them, it is required constant attention and a considerable “work of the soul” for their timely restoration, otherwise once closed hostility, hostility, conflict will separate the warmth of family relationships, become irreversible and create an unbearable atmosphere for the child in the house.

As you know, the emotional center of the family, which sets the tone in family relationships, is most often the mother, the woman. The nature of the relationship between mother and child from the first days and months of his life significantly determines the character and fate of already adult children.

Especially dangerous are authoritarianism, rigidity, excessive dominance of the mother, which at the present time is often manifested in many women. This kind of tough authoritarian behavior deprives the mental development of children and is fraught with various troubles. In the event that a child has a weak type of nervous system, this can lead to neuropsychiatric diseases. In the case when the child has a strong type of nervous system, dominance, rigidity of the mother leads to serious irreparable defects in the emotional sphere, to the emotional immunity of children, lack of empathy, aggressiveness, which can lead to cruel serious crimes.

In general, the pedagogical inadequacy of the family should be prevented long before the child comes to the attention of preventive agencies. In this regard, the psychological and pedagogical educational program that is carried out for parents can be considered a timely preventive measure.

Mental services that provide assistance to families and children will help resolve a chronic conflict situation, help parents understand the individual gender and age psychological characteristics of their children and adjust their position, conduct social and psychological trainings that form new forms of social role behavior of spouses, parents, maturing children. The same services could carry out psychological correction of social role behavior, communication of teachers, employees of inspections for juvenile affairs. That is, those whose practical activities are directly related to children, adolescents and dysfunctional families."Belicheva"

However, the advice of psychologists is unlikely to be able to provide significant assistance in working with criminal and immoral families, where the degree of moral degradation of parents is such that exhortations and measures of psychological influence are unsuccessful in terms of ridding people of their vices: drunkenness, a depraved lifestyle, cruelty and other things. In this case, decisive measures are required to isolate children from an extremely unhealthy home environment and provide social and legal assistance.

Biography:

1). Buyanov M.I. "A child from a dysfunctional family: notes of a child psychologist".

2). Belicheva S.A. Fundamentals of Preventive Psychology.

3 ). "The nature of the child in the mirror of autobiography"

ed. Bim-Bad.

4). Education of a schoolboy 1999 G. No. 1. Moskalenko V.

"A child from an alcoholic family."

5). Questions of psychology 1991 G. №4.

6). Preschool Education 1998 G. №12.

7). Family 1998 G. №47.

8). Family and school 1992 G. №2, №7, №8, №9.

9). Family and school 1994 G. №3.

10). Family and school 1995 G. №1, №3.

11). Family and school 1996 G. №7.

12). Family and school 1998 G. №2.

In this paragraph of our work, we will reveal the concept of "dysfunctional family" and its types.

Child psychologist M.I. Buyanov in his book "A Child from a Dysfunctional Family" says that "only the system of relations" family - child "has the right to be considered as prosperous or dysfunctional." From this we can conclude that a dysfunctional family is a family in which normal functioning is disrupted, in connection with which uncomfortable conditions are created for the life of children within it.

In modern psychological and pedagogical literature, various definitions and typologies of a dysfunctional family are given.

A dysfunctional family is a family with a low social status that cannot cope with the functions assigned to it in any of the spheres of life or several at the same time. The adaptive abilities of a dysfunctional family are significantly reduced, the process of family upbringing of a child proceeds with great difficulties, slowly and with little result.

A dysfunctional family is a family in which a child experiences discomfort, stress, neglect by adults, is subjected to violence or abuse. Main characteristic such a family is the lack of love for the child, caring for him, meeting his needs, protecting his rights and legitimate interests.

After analyzing the concept of a “dysfunctional family”, one can define this concept as a family in which the structure is broken, internal boundaries are blurred, the main family functions are depreciated or ignored, there are obvious or hidden defects in education, as a result of which the psychological climate in it is disturbed, and “difficult situations” appear. children".

The criteria by which families are classified as at risk are very diverse. Different researchers of the family view trouble in different ways. Some classify the family as dysfunctional, if only some unfavorable factor affects the entire family, others, when the factor affects its individual members. Here, the criterion for identifying dysfunctional families is the position of the child and the attitude of the parents towards him.

The most powerful factor that causes dysfunction of family relations and prevents the family from performing its functions, and also causes irreparable damage to the child's psyche, is the alcoholism of parents.

Alcoholic parents in the majority are born sick and mentally retarded children. Parental alcoholism affects the child during conception, during pregnancy and throughout life. This unfavorable factor is an example for the child. At a time when the child is socializing and forming his personality, when he absorbs all the information around him like a sponge, his main reference point is alcoholic parents. Because of this, the child learns these terrible examples, in most cases, there is a lack of any upbringing at all, in the end, the child can be left without parents, become an orphan with living parents and end up in an orphanage. A child in such a family is likened to his parents because, because of his immaturity, he cannot resist such harmful examples. The drunkenness of parents gives rise to such phenomena as social degradation, hooliganism, poor self-control, and they, in turn, are the cause of mental disorders in children.

Another type of dysfunctional family is a pedagogically untenable family. This status is given to families in which, at first glance, everything is fine, but when raising children, serious pedagogical errors occur.

In his book “A Child from a Dysfunctional Family”, M. Buyanov calls a dysfunctional family, first of all, a family in which there are obvious defects in upbringing, and describes the most common:

• - The child is brought up "like Cinderella", that is, when the child is explicitly or covertly emotionally rejected. In such a family, the child is not loved, and he knows this, because he is constantly reminded of this dislike. The reaction of children to such an attitude is different: often the child withdraws into himself, others try to draw the attention of parents to themselves, arouse their pity, or the child becomes hardened towards such parents.
• - Hyper-care. In this case, they try to protect the child from all possible and impossible difficulties and dangers. modern life. A child from such a family, as a rule, is deprived of the opportunity to somehow show his independence, he grows up most often irresponsible, dependent and infantile. And then it is very difficult for him to live in the world. Alcoholics, drug addicts, chronic losers are often the result of such upbringing.
• - Hypoopeka, that is, the lack of guardianship on the part of parents. No one takes care of the child, his interests in the family are always put on last place, although it cannot be said that they do not like him, it's just that his parents are not up to him - they have enough of their own problems. This happens in families where parents are concerned about arranging their personal happiness, achieving success in their careers, etc. No one will ever ask a child about his affairs and problems, no one will listen to him, no one will help with advice. No one will ever sacrifice their time for him. Of course, on the one hand, the child grows up independent and self-reliant, but often such an attitude towards the child leads to the fact that he feels useless, abandoned by everyone. And often this neglect ends with the addiction of children to alcohol, drugs, and the commission of illegal acts by them.
• - A family in which the child is treated too strictly. They are afraid to spoil children, and therefore they treat them with restraint and dryness. As a rule, high moral standards are instilled in children in such families and they are brought up with increased moral responsibility. Children know well “what is good and what is bad”, and often try to do the right thing. But is it good for such a child to live without parental affection? Is he happy?
• - Families in which there is no consent in the upbringing of the child. These are families in which parents use one tactic in raising children, and grandparents use a completely different one. Because of this, the child may begin a neurosis or other mental disorder.

The next type of dysfunctional families is criminal-immoral families, here the main factor violating the fulfillment of their duties by the family is criminal risk factors, and immoral-associative families, in which antisocial orientations prevail.

“Criminal and immoral families pose the greatest danger in terms of their negative impact on children. The life of children in such families due to harsh treatment, drunken brawls, promiscuity of parents, lack of elementary care for the maintenance of children, is often in jeopardy. These are the so-called social orphans (orphans with living parents), whose upbringing should be entrusted to state public care. Otherwise, the child will face early vagrancy, runaways from home, complete social vulnerability both from cruel treatment in the family and from the criminal influence of criminal formations.

Asocial-immoral families, although they seem outwardly quite respectable, but have an adverse effect on children due to their moral ideas, instill in them antisocial views. The external situation in the family is quite favorable, the standard of living is high, but spiritual values ​​have been replaced.

The listed forms are not exhausted by the varieties of family troubles. At the same time, each of the adults, consciously or unconsciously, seeks to use children in a function that is beneficial for themselves. Children, as they grow older and become aware of the family situation, begin to play games with adults, the rules of which were imposed on them. Especially clearly the difficult situation of children in families with various forms of psychological distress is manifested in the roles that they are forced to take on at the initiative of adults. Whatever the role - positive or negative - it equally negatively affects the formation of the child's personality, which will not be slow to affect his sense of self and relationships with others, not only in childhood, but also in adulthood.

In addition, family well-being is a relative phenomenon and may be temporary. Often a completely prosperous family goes into the category of either explicitly or implicitly dysfunctional families. Therefore, it is necessary to constantly carry out work to prevent family problems.

Thus, a dysfunctional family is, first of all, a family in which relations between its members are violated: parents, parents and children, these are conflicting, immoral families that cannot be the center of education.

It is necessary to single out two opposite tendencies that are characteristic of a dysfunctional family - these are the relations between parents and children.

The most typical causes of trouble in the family are: alcoholism, open and hidden conflicts between parents and other family members, parents' orientation only on the material support of the child, lack of concern for his upbringing, his spiritual development. All of these reasons are usually combined with each other.