I have been asking myself this question for a long time. To begin with, I would like to formulate a little the idea that will be discussed here. And it lies in the fact that for some reason, that men must certainly acquire (no matter what) expensive gifts for them. This includes this notorious fur coat.
The very fact of this, that it is being presented as a must, something that is in the order of things, is annoying! And if you don't, then you don't like it.
Often because of this, serious and with consequences conflicts arise. Well, only if the man is normal and does not fall for this whim. And then I know many examples of mattresses who do not have the strength to say masculine NO! Here, for example, in one familiar couple, the wife bought herself a fur coat at the moment when the husband had to go and get his teeth done for this money. Is it normal?
I think so - of course, if you are wealthy, then allocating a couple of thousand dollars for your beloved will not be difficult. Well, if you give the last, and not even the last, not the extra money for these excessive whims, then what kind of man are you?
Some expressions and statuses in social networks on this topic cause laughter:
- “A fur coat for a wife, a tie for a husband!” - straight justice and pret. Especially considering that still today men still earn and work more than women. In this scenario, somehow we should spend more on ourselves, and not vice versa.
- “The fur coats of the wife are the face of the husband.” - No no and one more time no! First of all, the face of a man, this is his wealth, a good car, a chic house, expensive and practical watches, and the like, well, not this piece of clothing. Now, if a man has taken place and has everything he needs, in this case, you can throw out part of your funds for such whims.
And in general, women, wear things for the manufacture of which you do not need to kill living beings.
And in the end - the strength of a man is not to give in to a woman's whim, but to refuse and firmly say no, if at the current moment in time it is not advisable.
Generous good man
It is as rare in Russia as Ryan Gosling in the Moscow metro. On the first ten dates, he did not appear without an armful of peonies or ranunculi, a month later he put on you a golden jewelry with some kind of shining stone and for no reason gives either a smartphone, or a ticket for you and your friends to the Seychelles, or even some other trifle . Write a comment under this post (and then delete it so that only the editors can see it), where did you meet such a unique person? Winter is coming, but we are calm for you. After all, the anniversary of your first kiss is coming soon, with which you prudently awarded the man only after a few months of dating. So the probability of getting a fur coat as a gift is 146%.
How to improve your chances: between times to complain that you are afraid to freeze in our harsh conditions. Your favorite sheepskin coat is completely worn out, you are not ready for a new car yet, and you were in the Seychelles quite recently. If the generous giver doesn't take the hint, just leave a tablet with this photo in a prominent place.
Strong business executive
No fur coat is included in his plans, of course. See for yourself: firstly, a fur coat is not an asset, but a liability, that is, it will not bring income. Secondly, the fur coat has high maintenance costs: it also needs to be wiped regularly with a soft cloth! And this time you could devote to ironing the man's office shirts. Thirdly, the level of your happiness from the purchase is impossible to measure, which means that you can certainly be just as pleased with a spontaneous trip to an ice cream parlor. In short, until a strong business executive sees a direct benefit in a gift, you will not see a fur coat.
How to improve your chances: to prove that the game is worth the candle. For a woman, a fur coat is, in fact, not just an asset, but a real investment. Our girls are still judged by their appearance, which means that a lady in a fur coat is more likely to get a profitable job offer than in a leatherette jacket. In addition, the climate is harsh, you don’t look like a Chinese down jacket. You get sick, you can’t work, and this is a loss to the family budget. Finally, the excitement of going to an ice cream parlor will last one evening, and from buying a luxury item - up to three months, scientists have calculated this. That is, the investor will get 900% more time next to a calm woman. Isn't it tempting?
Popular
progressive intellectual
He used to please his beloved woman with an excellent sense of humor, an exciting conversation and the very fact that he chose her as his companion. He does not give gifts, but not because he is stingy, but because you yourself do not ask. The intellectual professes the principle: in a mature relationship there is no place for hints and reticence. So if you want something, just say it straight. Difficult? Yes, but personal development is possible only in overcoming fears and established patterns. Although when you dare to ask for a gift, you will most likely hear: “Fur coat? Is she still a sign of status? I don't think it's fashionable at all." The intellectual has his own point of view on everything, even on women's needs. But the situation is not hopeless, because the flexible mind of the intellectual is ready to change.
How to improve your chances: Enter into an argument only if you are sure of the argument (perhaps the arguments from the paragraph about a strong business executive will help). But, perhaps, the intellectual will beat you here, so the best strategy is to rely on the soil of emotions inaccessible to him. “Darling, I am a weak, tender woman. I so want to feel beautiful, look luxurious, know that my man cares about me and loves me so much that he is even ready to fulfill a senseless whim. Do not think that I am manipulating you, but if you gave me a fur coat, I would be so happy!
Apathetic couch potato
Lives under the motto "I can dig, I can not dig." On dates, he brought you to the first cafe that appeared on the way. The flowers were given by those that the old woman handed at the subway, and the gifts - those that were advised by my mother or girlfriend. In everyday life it is unpretentious, so feed it, don’t feed it with Neapolitan fish, “and the dumplings will be more satisfying.” He doesn’t even want to deal with women’s desires, so you need to deal with him in a simple way: “Sing, buy a fur coat, huh? And then everyone around is beautiful, and I walk around in your old jacket. True, it is unlikely that you will be able to get what you want right away if a man has to do something “over” for such a gift. For example, put off for a long time or go to the mall.
How to improve your chances: Bring the object to the store and choose one, maximum two fur coats (having previously studied the assortment on the site). Make sure that the comrade does not overwork, and during the fitting, portray a stormy delight, literally knocking him down with emotions. Ask for a gift, and if he refuses, resort to manipulation. Which one - decide for yourself, depending on the habits of a man. For example, you can not let him eat dumplings for a month, and when he gets completely bored with fresh vegetable salads, say: “Well, now you know what it’s like for me without a fur coat!”.
Kind hearted knight
Such courted according to the pattern: bouquets of scarlet roses, restaurants with white tablecloths, boating in the park, feeding ducks with bread. The Knight chooses the safest scenarios because he doesn't have an opinion about where to go or what to do, and if he does, he keeps it a secret. Suddenly it does not match with yours? If there are other men within a radius of three meters, he can pretend to be a brutal macho and even say that “you won’t bend him.” But at the first sign of your discontent, he will do everything so that you change your anger to mercy. If you got such a man, you probably figured out how to get everything you want from him even without us. A caustic reproach, a direct request, a stormy scandal, tears of despair - all means are in your arsenal.
What worries women?
Here are the most common questions girls and women ask me during consultations.
- Why am I so cool and still single?
- How can I make sure that they don't cheat on me?
- How to make a man spend money on me?
I have repeatedly written about and about what to do so that you do not cheat. He told me what I needed to change in myself or my behavior so that independence would not be loneliness. But today let's touch on the other side of the coin.
Forcing generosity is a road to nowhere
Let's talk about exactly how to "force" a man to be generous with you.
But let's get straight to it:we will not force anyone.
Are you looking for a healthy relationship? So, we should talk about the natural desire of a man to support his woman and delight / pamper her with gifts.
Of course, perhaps you are interested in commodity-money relations, where everyone owes something to someone. And in case of violation of obligations, it is necessary to enforce. But this is not for me!
How can a woman get what she deserves? care?
You, of course, noticed that there are women who are rolled, pampered, delighted, and there are those who are “all by themselves”?
Just let's remove your poisonous perception of those to whom everything is given, as "not for *** la, but as a gift"! I'm talking about women who cause a man's NATURAL desire to please his chosen one.
Why does it happen that one is given fur coats, and you - at best, flowers and a begging gift for the holidays?
Gift to gift - discord
Gift - it is an expression of love in material terms. It carries the following meaning: "I love you and care about you."
In every culture of the world, gifts symbolize love. This is perhaps the most versatile way to express feelings. And, by the way, the easiest.
Let's be honest: a gift doesn't always speak of love.
Men, knowing that gifts can "win" women, sometimes give them with a simple goal - to speed up the process of getting sex. After all, presents are easier than long courtship and chivalrous deeds.
And here the price does not matter. For a rich man, a thing for several thousand euros may be less significant than for someone a gift with a “soul” for several hundred hryvnias.
Any thing can be an expensive gift - from a cheap trinket to a diamond necklace. The main thing - the feelings he carries.
Why is it so hard for women to ask?
Let's figure out why it turns out that you are worthy, smart, beautiful - and "all by myself". And others, it seems, are simpler both in mind and body, but if you just want to, is there already a "Chanel" on your shoulder?
The reasons most often lie in the widespread nodding at parents. Do you remember how in childhood? "Daddy, can you buy me this doll?"
If the parents spoiled the girl with gifts, then she will go one of two ways (as in a fairy tale):
- will take gifting from a man as a given and calmly voice his desires / requests;
- decides not to stoop to a request - "he himself must understand and give."
It's like daddy always knew what you pretty girls want. But! A subconscious scheme worked with dad: it’s not scary and not humiliating to ask dad.
As for a man, it's a different story.
Pride and independence- not sisters
Most women either don’t know how to ask at all, or do it, causing “damage” to self-esteem. And this fundamentally contradicts the well-established postulate that men should be dealt with easily and without tension.
The most popular response of girls: “Pride does not allow asking - we want to be independent from men. And he himself should give me, give money, and not me - to humiliate myself and ask.
You say that pride does not allow you to verbalize your desires? But this is no longer pride, butpride ! The true independence of a woman has nothing to do with pride.
And a woman who knows what she wants calmly voices her desires, which a man himself cannot guess.
You're smart and you should already know, whatmen think differently - linearly. This means that they don’t understand hints, especially since they don’t read your thoughts (and thank God!) ...
Where does the fear come from"fee"?
Another sad story: the girl considers herself simply unworthy of gifts and maintenance.
The roots of this sad attitude towards oneself must also be sought in childhood.
Apparently, dad was "Scrooge McDuck" and reproached with a piece of bread.
In this case, the girl learns from childhood: ask, don't ask - you still won't get anything. And if you get it, then at such a price that the request will become like a bone across the throat.
Bonus will be:
- eternal reproaches of ingratitude;
- "did not justify the hopes and invested in you."
Fear of the “fee” prevents the grown-up daughter of “Scrooge” from establishing a normal dialogue with her beloved man. Such a girl does not believe in unconditional love from a man, so she is forced to curry favor.
And even now, when she has become an adult, at the mere thought of asking a man for something, she begins to feel slightly nauseous. It's easier than...
So strong women “I myself”, deprived of the opportunity to “take it easy” from childhood, automatically reject potential patrons throughout their lives.
Look, you can just interact with a resourceful and strong man who will support you in every possible way.
Men are different, or Beware, miser!
Among men there are ordinary zhmoto, which with any woman will be like that.
Then either my mother tried, saying that “they only need one thing from you!”. Or they could become so due to life circumstances - traumas and inferiority complexes.
My generous advice to you - leave such men to psychologists to be torn to pieces.
Although men of this kind do not feel the need to correct their shortcoming - greed. Yes, and do not consider this a disadvantage.
Spenders - not your choice either.
By the way, in contrast to the miser, there are generous men. With these specimens, women will be spoiled.
There is, however, a nuance. Some of these men are not just generous, but have a penchant for squandering.
It’s good to walk and hang out with such a man, but it will be difficult to create a strong family.
You will not be bored. But without a guarantee of prosperity and corny "daily bread" in the future.
Why do men give gifts?
Remember! The average man gives gifts on three occasions:
- from feelings of guilt;
- out of gratitude for the feeling of happiness;
- out of pity.
Guilty - pay!
Why do women everywhere forgive their husbands for infidelity and all sorts of “jambs”?! Because they know that they will receive compensation for their grievances and tantrums.
And sometimes they deliberately provoke a scandal in order to make a man feel guilty and achieve a long-desired thing. And do you respect yourself after that (if you do that)?
You know, 90% of men say they keep cheating because they know that no one is going to kick them out for "this" and you can just "pay off".
There is even an ugly joke among men that the most expensive prostitute is his wife.
You yourself have taught your men that nothing will happen to them for “this”.
Out of fear of losing them, you have lost YOURSELF.
But we are not talking about that now. And that guilt is not the best and not the most worthy way to provoke gifts. But it works yes...
She cried out her boots. Did it get easier?
No comments, right? Or do you want to arouse pity with your painfully pleading look? ...
It is this reaction that a woman provokes when she “whines” and whines, complaining how bad everything is and how she needs “blouse-boots so that her legs do not freeze” ...
It works. But we don't respect it.
The art of giving gifts
Now let's figure out what to do if a man loves, but for some reason does not give you gifts.
Are you doing well in other areas of relationships? Are you a source of joy for him, does he trust you and considers you his? Then maybe he just doesn't know how to give?
My best present is the one I chose
Your man may object: “Yes, I- not a fan of gift giving. My parents rarely gave me anything. Besides, I don't know how to choose them. This is not for me".
If a man is not against gifts and is ready to spend money on them, but does not know how or does not like to choose them, reduce your pride and choose them yourself!
Many women will envy you. After all, they complain that they are forced to portray the joy of a gift that “it would be better if they gave money.”
Female- investment!
If it is so important for you to receive these gifts from the hands of your man,you need to purposefully teach your man to be "giftable." In the name of strengthening his own feelings.
A man is so arranged that the more he invests in his woman, the more valuable she is to him. A kind of investment project.
The more time, money and effort is spent on a person, the further the giving side tends to go in their feelings.
It’s like building a house: “I put my soul into it, how can I sell it!”.
Listen, don't deprive a man of the pleasure of being generous. Awaken in him the desire to feel like a patron or just a "daddy".
Moreover, love for a woman, which results in big expenses for a man, only benefits him. After all, she motivates him to earn money, make a career, overcome difficulties.
And if you directly tell him: “I love you already!”, Then he becomes passive and bored.
How to be well-groomed?
Teach your man to be generous and give you gifts.
In the candy-bouquet period, a man does not yet know your desires. Therefore, he usually asks what to give you. Hide the pride that we talked about before, and modesty, and"wish" dear.
Within reason, of course- a man is annoyed by greedy girls. And, if he doesn't plan to just sleep with you, your "greedy" approach will turn him off.
Are you demanding of yourself?
Are you used to cheap cosmetics and clothes, to the cheapest dishes from the menu of cheap cafes? For a man, this is an indicator.
Remember, in order to declare yourself as a luxury woman, it is not necessary to be beautiful, it is more important to be well-groomed. But true grooming is daily self-control, which comes from demanding of yourself.
A man realizes that exactingness, as a lifestyle, in a woman will manifest itself not only in relation to herself, but also to her man.
And it is not necessary to spend a lot on creating an “expensive image”. No need to dress up in fakes and pretend to be a pretentious diva.
Your appearance is an indicator of what is normal for you. And most importantly, what you, with a dear soul, are ready to accept from your man.
Is it possible to save money on women?
If today you agree to wear cheap jewelry, diamonds will most likely not be presented to you ...
By and large, it all depends on the addressee, and not on the donor.
Life shows that the same men with different women act in completely different ways. Buying a diamond necklace to one, with a clear conscience, they present a discounted stainless steel ring to another.
The motivation is simple: they see perfectly where and with whom they can save.And if you get by with less, why bother?
Like attracts like
"It's not fair!" - offended exclaim you.
And I will answer you that, in fact, this is exactly right.
Diamonds only match gold, not stainless steel! Do not expect high marks and expensive gifts from men if you value yourself low. If you want royalty, act like a queen!
A man should know that you need money not to meet your primary needs, but to receive various expensive pleasures. (Even if it's actually not).
No need for these humiliating phrases:
- "Put me some money on my phone - I'm out of it."
- "I can't pay for a taxi - go down, pay."
A man spends money wisely. And he wants to know that his woman has this very taste. The more expensive, the more valuable.
Gift Lessons
Accustom him to the signs that will indicate what you would like to receive from him.
- “I wish I had boots like those in this display case.”
- “I have been dreaming of getting to the concert of this artist for so long. And he, lo and behold, is coming to our city next month.”
- “Look what a photo of a wonderful coat Ira sent me. She tried it on in the store and thinks it will be great for me.”
Random tips for men
“Unobtrusively” slip your man photo-indications-tips on what you would like to receive as a “surprise”. And do not forget to sincerely admire his insight and thank him for his attentiveness to your desires.
Just don't give orders "buy!".
Much more pleasant are the phrases:
- "I would like to…".
- "I need it…".
- "I would be pleased if you would give me."
Those who were on mine know how to properly ask men. And they will confirm that the magic sms works in all cases :-)
And stop constantly demonstrating to a man your independence and independence! And then you will be - "all by yourself."
Gratitude Returns
Do you want to teach the language of gifts to your man? After all, he had never spoken to him before. A "language of gifts"- one of the 5 love languages (according to Harry Chapman).
Fortunately, there is nothing easier than giving gifts. And it is with gratitude and compliments to his choice that you provoke a man to give you new gifts.
And even the most generous man, a “crooked” face can discourage the desire to surprise and delight you with gifts.
Thank your beloved man for every little thing, after receiving a gift, demonstrate joy and an uplift in mood. And you will receive gifts again and again!
Remember, only if you feel like a worthy, dear woman who deserves love and care, you will cause such desires in a man. Like rejoices in like!
“Girls, my man categorically refuses to buy me a fur coat! She says she doesn't need me. The down jacket is no worse, and there is no money. And I know that there is. What do i do? How to put pressure on him so that he fulfills my desire - to receive a fur coat as a gift for the New Year?
Probably, someone may be familiar with such a situation. Do you dream of a chic, warm fur coat, but your loved one ignores your request and puts it off for later? Dont be upset! Today you will learn several effective ways to influence your partner and make sure that the treasured gift is under the Christmas tree in a timely manner.
A luxurious fur coat - mink or fox, sable or lynx - is one of the brightest events in life, which will be remembered by both of you.
1. Hint?
As a rule, you should not put much pressure on your partner and diligently beg for a fur coat. You need to try from afar to start a conversation on the topic of fur new clothes.
Men like to be praised and complimented. “What a wonderful person you are! What a smart, quick-witted, strong you are!” - do not cease to amuse their pride and remind them that you love them and cherish them. This can be a great start to move on to the subject of gifts.
Best hint. For example, you “accidentally” ended up together in a fur salon or passed by its windows. We saw amazing models of fur coats. Admire or act like you're upset. Beloved will ask what's the matter. It turns out that that fur coat is what you need for complete spiritual harmony. Believe me, the hint will be understood!
Suitable for melancholic: easily vulnerable, prone to experiences. Be gentle and don't push. The more you praise, the more you get in return.
2. It's necessary!
Another way is to let him know that you need it for specific reasons. For example: “Winter this year promises to be severe. Down jackets are not able to warm as natural fur will warm! Or: “Honey, I haven’t bought anything for myself for so long! And there are so many interesting events ahead, the Christmas holidays. You have to look the part!" Let him think that he is buying not only a beautiful, but also a useful thing.
Another option for melancholic if in the first case they misunderstand you. Don't worry, it's completely normal!
3. You - to me, and I - to you.
If you want to receive, you need to be able to give. Of course, we are not talking about giving your partner a gift along with a fur product. A man should feel like a warrior who is ready to win all the victories for you, and a woman is a fragile, very gentle creature. However, everyone is pleased with the attention and those things that are truly made with love and warmth are valuable. You can please your companion with homemade surprises. It can be a pretty sweater knitted by you or secret messages, the receipt of which is desirable to arrange in an original way. Then the man will have no doubt that in return you can be pleased with a pretty gift.
Sanguine - live, hot, mobile. It is they who always want interesting events and difficult ways to solve the situation.
4. Envy?
If your chosen one is endowed with a share of self-confidence, and friends consider him even narcissistic, you can try to influence him with envy. Usually it is always important for this type of men to be in the spotlight, and to live a little better than others. If you tell him that your friend was given a gorgeous fox cape by her husband, he will seriously consider making a fur purchase for you! Only you can already have a fur coat, which will definitely be better than a fox cape. In this case, you should not forget to tell your chosen one that everyone will admire his generosity and simply die of envy when they see this amazing gift on you. Finally, remind him that people love to judge a man by his woman.
Suitable for choleric people: passionate, impetuous, with a sharply changing mood. Don't feel sorry for emotions!
5. Directness.
We talked about hints, and men do not always understand them. Many prefer to know all your desires without any riddles. Then we will do things differently. Say directly that the other day you went shopping, saw the fur coat of your dreams and now you will definitely expect it for yourself as a gift for the New Year! Be softer: “Darling, you know, I looked after such a beautiful coat for myself. Let's see together? This could be the perfect gift for the upcoming holiday!” At the same time, remember that you need to talk about your desires in time, catching his good mood.
Ideal approach for phlegmatic: calm, persistent and persistent workers of life. They know exactly what they want from life, and they demand the same in return. More pressure!
Let's hope that our recipes will serve as a reminder for you, which you will use in practice J
Fur factory "ELENA FURS" congratulates all women and their beloved men on the upcoming New Year! Give each other the right gifts, because by doing this you strengthen your union and show how valuable everything that is between you is.
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