Probably, any girl, woman wants not only to get married, but also to be happy in marriage. It is a delusion to think that your husband will make you happy. Of course, he will try, but without your help he is unlikely to succeed. Creating a happy union is the task of both of you. Therefore, this time I want to reveal the secrets of a happy marriage not only to women, but also to men.
What are the secrets of a happy marriage?
So, the first secret is that each other should be treated especially. To begin with, it is important to understand that your chosen one is not as perfect as you might think, and you can immediately start preparing for the fact that you will soon recognize him from the other side. Perhaps not the best. And here, attention, you need to calm down and exhale. It takes time to accept a partner, so do not flog a fever and say that you made a mistake in your choice or that you want to break up. All families go through this, you are not special. Accepting your soul mate is difficult, but possible. It is from this moment that a real family begins without rose-colored glasses, with real feelings.
The third secret is to be beautiful for your husband. Do makeup not when you go "to people", but in the morning after waking up. Wear beautiful clothes not for the occasion, but at home. After all, think for yourself, for whom are we dressing up? Why are we used to making a marathon for strangers, and in front of our husbands we allow ourselves to walk in an old dressing gown without makeup and hair? Somehow it doesn't make sense to me.
The next secret of a happy marriage is: "The husband is the main, but not the center of the universe." Your world should not be limited to your husband or revolve around him. Develop, learn, improve. Remember, a man never loses interest in a woman who grows with him. And together - this does not mean that she should be interested in the same things as he. Together means in sync. After all, if one of the couple slows down in their development, then they can no longer walk side by side, hand in hand. Someone ahead, someone behind. Soon, interest in each other in such a pair will fade away and they will either live as neighbors in the same house, or disperse.
And the last, fifth secret: doing for your husband what you would like him to do for you is wrong. Men and women are too different to be equal to each other. Therefore, if you want to please him, then study what exactly will be pleasant for him. For example, women love to talk heart to heart, men love to retire and think it over all alone. It is important for women to feel secure, for a man to understand that you need him and believe in him. In a word, for happy family relationships, it is not enough to act at random or in the way that you think is right. It is important to study the psychology of a man and understand what exactly will bring your husband the greatest happiness.
Many married couples, and especially newlyweds, think that their marriage life will be easy and cloudless, and the feeling of falling in love will not leave them until the very end. In fact, a long and happy life is obtained only if both spouses work hard at it.
There are many examples of unhappy marriages. Someone gets divorced immediately after the wedding, and someone - after twenty years of marriage. After reading the statistics, you can become a real cynic. But there are also happy couples who live and grow old together. Why did they succeed? Below we will talk about 35 secrets of family happiness.
1. Share with each other
Especially the way you feel right now. Many believe that this is the main secret of happy family relationships. After all, it is very difficult to achieve mutual understanding and harmony if the spouses keep everything inside.
2. Remember, this will pass.
Many people know this phrase from the parable of King Solomon. Whatever happens in your life, always remember that this too shall pass.
3. Show more passion
Greet each other with a kiss every morning and have sex more often (even in old age). After all, as experience shows, passion is a habit and can easily die out if it is not maintained. Well, physical affection helps not to lose touch with a partner.
4. Don't scold children
Children can be a lot of trouble and stress. But over time, they will grow up and leave you, starting their own life.
5. Forget about small problems
It pays to think bigger. Think about how many of you forgot to turn on the dishwasher 10 years later. Such problems are so insignificant over a long period of time that they should not affect marital relations in any way.
6. Fill the refrigerator
Do not deny yourself such small pleasures. So be sure to fill the fridge with your favorite foods.
7. Make time for yourself
It is very important that the husband and wife have time for their own hobby. After all, a favorite activity makes a person happy and gives a lot of energy. Life shows that the most harmonious relationships are in those married couples where the husband and wife have equal opportunities for self-realization.
8. Don't hold back your emotions
Immediately share with your partner things that cause you anxiety. Do not allow negative emotions to accumulate, as this can lead to a nervous breakdown.
9. Don't take everything to heart
Well, things that are very annoying should be avoided altogether.
10. Compromise
For many, this means giving up their own principles. In fact, compromise is a powerful impetus in the development of relations. And not necessarily he should violate the principles of one of the spouses. The main thing is to discuss everything in detail and find a solution that would suit both.
11. Don't take your relationship for granted
They need to be constantly worked on.
12. Be spontaneous
This is necessary so that family life does not turn into a routine. For example, you can change the place of your vacation at the last moment. Or for no reason to give a partner a gift.
13. Be polite
Treat your partner with understanding and kindness. After all, you yourself chose him as your life partner.
14. Be patient
The level of development of husband and wife can vary greatly. Therefore, it is worth showing patience with a partner who is not very advanced in any of the areas.
15. Celebrate
Be sure to celebrate all holidays and memorable dates together.
16. Find common hobbies
It can be cycling, swimming in the pool, cooking classes, etc. Joint activities help strengthen relationships.
17. Spend time together
Marry only with the partner you enjoy spending time with.
18. Say your wishes out loud
19. Go to parties together
Be sure to take the time to visit them. This is especially important when children have already appeared in the marriage and the family routine begins to drag out. And in order to go to a party, it does not take a lot of time and money.
20. Keep a joint budget
At the same time, you can discuss your plans for the future and dreams. Proper planning of the family budget will help you achieve your plans in the shortest possible time.
21. Surprise each other
Remember how at the beginning of your relationship you planned to spend the weekend together, gave each other small gifts, exchanged touching messages. These things are worth doing in marriage, because it shows your partner that you love him.
22. Show appreciation
Especially when the other half does something for you. Of course, you can read gratitude in the face, but it's always nice to hear it out loud.
23. Help and support
This applies to both domestic and work issues.
24. Don't criticize
Before you condemn your partner for something, try to put yourself in his place and understand the reason for his actions. And superficial criticism will only cause negative.
25. Laugh at each other
Treat all life events with humor. It closely borders on such a state as happiness.
26. Communicate more often
If the relationship is at an impasse, then you should talk with your partner and find out how serious everything is. It may turn out that this is just a short black stripe, followed immediately by a white one.
27. Make friends
Moreover, the situation will be quite normal when the wife and husband have different friends. Well, it doesn’t hurt to have a common one either.
28. Be generous
This is especially true for two things - time and money.
29. Be happy
If this state disappears, then make every effort to return it.
30. Don't get defensive
Don't think that your partner's main goal is to pressure you to accept their point of view. Any point of contention can be discussed from a position of love and kindness.
31. Trust and be trustworthy
Mutual openness is very important in marriage.
32. Remember the reasons for falling in love
Never forget why you fell in love with your partner. It doesn't matter what it is, humor or ambition. It is important to always remember this.
33. Compliment
Talk to your soulmate about your love more often and give compliments.
34. Make an effort
Remember that marriage can be very fragile. And to save it, you need to make a lot of effort.
35. Enjoy your marriage
Over time, new housing will appear, children, domestic problems, etc. Everything will only get more complicated. Therefore, right now, hug your partner and enjoy the current moment.
For some people, the realization of happiness comes like an accidental discovery. Usually a person is happy when he is in love. But in matters of the heart, nothing happens just like that. For example, in order to experience family happiness, you have to work on it. Many people want to know the secrets of a happy marriage. At the same time, many believe that happiness in the family is either given or not given. Partly right and those, and others. But in most cases, the saying "Our happiness is in our hands" is fully justified.
Basic Foundations of Strong Family Ties
A happy marriage doesn't just happen. Even in those cases when people fall in love at first sight, they will have to show maximum tolerance in the family in order to make the happiness of lovers family happiness. When Mendelssohn loses the march, the bride and groom say "we agree", and the couple merge in a magical kiss, people think they are already happy. But sad statistics say that approximately 43% of marriages end in divorce. It is impossible to create a prosperous family with only passionate desires, high feelings and tender words.
back to contentsIn order not to experience the bitterness of the collapse of fabulous dreams, in order to achieve the bright goal of a successful marriage, you need to work hard and painstakingly improve family relationships.
Communicate more sincerely with each other. Openness in relationships is very important, especially at a time when family affairs are not going well. After all, there are many things that can directly or indirectly affect relationships in the family - friends, hobbies, work, education, religion, relatives. If you can't spend time together, or if you have a financial disagreement, it's important to be direct about the cause of your argument and possible ways to address that cause.- Another secret to a happy marriage is to create your own family rituals and traditions. Almost all couples who describe their marriage as happy talk about family rituals. It doesn’t matter what it is: a candle on the table, lit at a festive family dinner, going to a cafe once a month, traveling with the whole family or dates in significant places in your city. Or maybe a special touch that means "I love you." Someday in the future, these rituals will become the best part of memories - yours and your children's.
- Learn to listen. After all, oddly enough, people are more polite with strangers than with their loved ones. Is your spouse trying to talk to you? Don't interrupt. Listen politely and tactfully, no matter how busy you are. Listen as politely as you would listen to your boss. After all, decency and patience are integral parts of a happy marriage.
- Time spent alone with your loved one will help you rekindle the feelings that made you fall in love with each other. It doesn't matter where exactly you will spend time - in a luxurious restaurant or in a cinema at inexpensive places for kissing. Time dedicated to each other is an essential component of a happy marriage. Remember this!
Solve the money problem! It's amazing how many marriages fail because of money. Or because of their absence - it does not matter. It is important that many couples simply do not discuss serious financial issues, living for today and not thinking about tomorrow. Discuss each of your preferences regarding money. Agree on how you will pay large sums, who will manage the family budget and keep family accounting. What? Do you think that bookkeeping is necessary only for a report to the authorities? Nothing like this. All people who have achieved a lot in life analyze their income and expenses. Remember that the issue of money can be the cause of many major and minor disagreements between husband and wife. And I would not want your happy marriage to fail because of money.- Respect each other. There are some simple rules for those who want to make their marriage happy. First, never go to bed in a family bed in a bad mood. Say "thank you" and "please". Kiss daily and say "I love you". Congratulate each other as often as possible (it doesn’t matter with what, even with the Power Engineer’s Day - you are energetic, or with the Builder’s Day - you are both building a happy family).
- Don't break your agreement. And the agreement of all spouses who are in a happy marriage sounds like this: "Family is above all." Do not sacrifice the interests of the family for the sake of a career, entertainment, hobbies.
- Maintain a relationship with your spouse's family. You both owe a lot to your parents. Not according to the law of the country (already at the age of 18, a person is legally independent and has the right to completely separate from the family), but according to the law of conscience. “Honor your father and your mother,” the Bible says. But in the same book it is written that when a person starts a family, his devotion belongs primarily to his spouse: “A man leaves his father and mother and cleaves to his wife.” Maintaining relationships with parents does not mean running to them for advice in a relatively simple everyday situation, and even more so, complaining about your spouse. The correct attitude towards relatives is to visit them from time to time, choosing an activity that is interesting for everyone. And spend as much time with the husband's parents as with the wife's family. It is imperative for a married couple who wants to be happy to take into account the feelings and needs of their parents. But at the same time, the family must maintain independence.
- When relatives visit you, try to be polite to them. Make the time of your parents' visit to you pleasant, make them feel at home. Even if you have already grown up, for your parents you still remain children. And adult children need to remember that their parents will not always be with them. Therefore, one should enjoy their company while one can.
The area of personal differences should be tried to minimize. Cliff Albirton, a researcher of family relations, under the area of personal differences understands the defiant behavior of the spouses and the difference in personal habits, differences in attitudes and temperament. Violation of the norms and rules accepted in society is defiant behavior. It can annoy the spouse so much that you will have to forget about a happy marriage. Personal habits (banal scattering of socks around the apartment or a table that has not been wiped after dinner) can also become a strong irritant. Psychologists say that 28% of marriages break up precisely on the basis of personal disagreements. One spouse is pedantic, the other is sloppy. One loves hard rock, the other - classical music. What to do in this case? For this, there is a so-called “candy-bouquet period”. It is necessary for people to get to know each other better and make a conscious decision to marry.- Do not try to change anything in the spouse, the only person in the marriage union that you can improve endlessly is yourself. Lifestyle is the totality of all human habits. Where does he go? How about smoking and alcohol? Does he use drugs? What is he interested in? The more you have in common, the more easily you will adapt to each other, the more likely that your marriage will be happy. The value system of each of you is also very important. If he appreciates the same qualities in people as you, your marriage has every chance of being happy.
Sting with wife Trudy Styler, 1992
Marriage is a delicate matter, most of us aspire to go there, thinking that this is where all life's problems will end and the fabulous “they lived happily ever after” will come. However, this is only just the beginning - how you and your partner work on the relationship will determine its future outcome. In order for the marriage to be long, happy, harmonious, and so that your love with the chosen one grows stronger day by day, take the following secrets into service:
Don't take small troubles to heart
An anniversary date forgotten by a chosen one, a quarrel about a vacation, or a refusal to go to your girlfriend's birthday party are completely insignificant trifles on a life scale. Do not let them spoil your union: accumulating resentment, bothering about trifles is not a good idea, which only harms relationships and exacerbates problems.You and He are against the whole world, but not You against Him
Again: we live in a difficult time, when every day you have to defend yourself, your interests, goals, finances in the end. This means that the home should remain the most comfortable, safe, accepting place where you can relax and be yourself. If you manage to create such an “oasis of love and support”, do not hesitate - your relationship will be the happiest.
Sting and Trudy, 2006
Learn to listen
Often, when communicating with colleagues, friends, and even loved ones, we take their words for granted, and we can’t wait until we can finally say something ourselves. Nevertheless, the ability to listen, and, most importantly, to hear is an overvalued skill for relationships, which, alas, very few people possess. Learn to perceive the needs, fears, wishes and fears of a partner when he tells you about them. And also remember that it is much more difficult for men to share their innermost things than for us, so sometimes you will have to recognize the true message literally in a couple of words.Find time for yourself
One of the most common mistakes girls make when they get married or start living with a guy is giving up their own interests and hobbies. Men, on the other hand, very rarely refuse regular gatherings with friends or football on weekends when they have a stamp in their passport. To keep your significant other interesting, and to live a full, happy life, don't stop spending time on the things you love. Whether it's shopping on Sundays or yoga dancing three times a week, set aside time for it and don't feel guilty about it. Self-development is only good for your relationship.I love you
No matter how long you are together, do not stop confessing your love to the chosen one. Do it verbally, through a cup of tea brought to bed in the morning or a funny note on the refrigerator - often remind him and yourself of your feelings, then they will only grow stronger.
Sting and his wife, 2015 - soon the couple will celebrate a silver wedding.
Girls, I decided to share with you a wonderful article. I found it a long time ago, I reread it regularly and it helps me a lot.Secrets of family happiness. The first secret is comfort in the house.
A man who is ripe for serious family relationships sees in the chosen one not only an object for passion and love, but also considers her as a future mistress, a mother for her children. That is, marriage for him is, in addition to all the romantic advantages, when his beloved is always there, also a delicious hot lunch and dinner, order in the house, clean clothes. In a word, the comfort that a hostess can provide. And a woman who has become a wife should understand this.Therefore, one of the foundations of strong family relationships is family comfort and comfortable living conditions. You can, of course, afford a little mess, feed your family with ready-made store-bought food, or even have a bite to eat in a cafe. But in the form of exceptions. And even if you make good money (perhaps more than your spouse), hold a certain official position, you still have to be a good housewife. Fortunately, now a modern woman has a lot of household assistants who perform almost all the basic household chores.
Secrets of family happiness. The second secret is motherhood.
Even the most loving newlyweds, having lived a certain time for themselves, understand that something is missing in their life, that they are bored and uninterested in doing only themselves. And children are a new round of family life, a new stage, although responsible, but joyful and happy. How many positive emotions burst into family life with the advent of a baby. Everything is literally turned upside down, and it's amazing.Although it is the appearance of a child that can be a serious test for the feelings of the spouses. And not everyone, alas, passes it. How many families break up just because the halves did not agree on the characters. Or maybe they just didn’t want to find a compromise, hold on to their pride? Concerns and thoughts about children, about how to bring them up, raise them unite the thoughts and efforts of the spouses, turning the family into a single whole. But only where the husband and wife are ready to understand each other, to look for a golden solution in disputable situations, each of them is the first to meet halfway, a happy family life awaits them.
Secrets of family happiness. The secret of the third - Women's patience. In marriage, a woman must learn to control her emotions. Girlish capriciousness, self-will are not the features that distinguish a wise wife. Of course, it is not forbidden to show off with your husband, for example, in those cases when you are seeking some purchases for yourself. But whims are inappropriate in important life cases. Here you need to show all your will, mind and patience. Yes, patience is a quality that can help you achieve a lot, both in work and in family life.
The inability to accept the position of a man (if it is really logical and justified) will eventually lead to conflict. For a man, understanding and willingness to support him is important, so to speak, "to blow the same tune with him." And being patient does not mean enduring beatings from a drinking husband or putting up with infidelity, pretending that you do not know anything. In these situations, you just need to act, take control of the situation and act as you see fit.
Women's patience in family life is identified with wisdom when you understand your husband and support him during periods of crisis in business, at work. You take care of the children yourself and do not make scandals for him because he stays late at the office, practically not helping you.
Patience is a colossal work, and first of all it is work on oneself.
Secrets of family happiness. Secret Four - Be a good listener.
Learn to listen to your man. Open conversation often helps to relieve tension, dispel fears and worries. And this is very important, especially for a family, where there should be no disagreements and secrets. A man is a representative of the stronger sex, and, nevertheless, even that husband who, it would seem, is woven of iron and steel, needs to be listened to, given advice, and simply rejoiced at his success with admiration and pride. And if a beloved wife becomes an adviser, then this will only strengthen feelings.Men reach great heights not only thanks to their intelligence and talents, but also thanks to wise wives who provide a reliable rear in their family life. And the man who is believed in, who is valued and respected, first of all, by the closest people, will achieve a lot in life, for the sake of those who love him and whom he loves.
Secrets of family happiness. The fifth secret is mutual respect.
Respect in the family, namely the mutual respect of the spouses is the foundation of a strong strong relationship. Only in that family where each side respects the parents of the spouse, where rude and insulting treatment is not allowed, everything will be fine.A wife should respect her husband for being a man, for his efforts to provide for the family prosperity, to respect the traditions of his family, if they are important to him.
A husband must respect his wife for the fact that she is a woman, gives birth and raises children, leads a life, respect her family. Each half in the family has its own special role, and the responsibilities of each side must be respected and understood.
Secrets of family happiness. Secret Six - Compare what you want with what you can.
Do not demand the impossible from a man. You should not overestimate the bar of life requirements if he is not able to reach it. Therefore, when you want a mink coat this year, and your husband is simply not able to give it to you, you should moderate your ardor. You can earn it yourself if you work and earn enough money, but otherwise, wait, or help your husband earn this money. A man driven into a dead end loses heart, and even a strong and confident man will become limp from the exorbitant demands of his wife.Learn to rationally plan a family budget and measure your desires with your capabilities. There is a time for everything, because with a goal and certain efforts, everything is achievable.
Secrets of family happiness. Secret seventh - Voice requests.
Talk to a man about problems and about what you want from him. For example, some help around the house: vacuuming, taking a walk with the child. If a husband does not take out the trash, it is not because he is lazy. Just the logic of men and women is radically different. If for a woman at the exit from the apartment to work to take out the trash is normal and is one of the points of cleanliness and order, then for a man it means absolutely nothing (but there are exceptions, no doubt). His head is busy with the upcoming work, meetings. Therefore, remind, prompt and avoid so many problems and even quarrels that arise on everyday grounds.Secrets of family happiness. Secret eight - Solve problems in time.
As for conflict situations, they definitely need to be resolved in time. Just sit down and talk, discuss what is important and what caused the problem in the relationship. Resentment, reticence, which has no way out, undermine the soul, gradually developing into hostility towards a loved one. When sorting out the relationship, keep yourself in control, never allow yourself an insulting treatment, because you will soon make peace, and the cruel and offensive words that were said will remain in your heart forever. Find a reason to make up, do it first, so what. Won't lose. But the soul will become calm, and you will understand that these are the steps to the accumulation of wisdom and life experience.Secrets of family happiness. Secret nine - Take care of the man's health. Men rarely care about their health. A woman is more scrupulous in such matters, at least, because for her health and beauty are consonant concepts. Therefore, to be beautiful means to be healthy. Men are busy with global life issues: career, prosperity in the family, growing children, success. They just don't have time to take care of themselves. Control how he eats breakfast and what he eats at work. Be attentive to his well-being. If you see that there is a reason to see a doctor, then you need to do it. And there are no concessions.
Secrets of family happiness. The tenth secret is Trust.
Trust the one you love. Even if lately the husband has been late at work, and you do everything alone around the house, take care of the children. Trust when you let your spouse go to a corporate party or go fishing.Trust is a quality that is worth a lot, it is like the most important thread that connects loving people, even when they are at a far distance from each other. Appreciate the trust of your spouse, and trust yourself. Never test the feelings of another person with fake situations and jealousy.
Secrets of family happiness. Secret eleventh - The ability to forgive.
It is priceless. If a loved one made a mistake, be able to understand him. You should not cut off everything in the heat of the moment, burning all the bridges to further relationships. Anything in life can happen. When an accident, and when a stupid coincidence.The ability to forgive gave many families a chance to live a long and happy life.
Secrets of family happiness. Secret 12 - Be beautiful.
Homemade pies and borscht are, of course, wonderful. But if you serve them to the table in the usual dressing gown with a sleek ponytail on your head, then 10:0 is not in your favor. The spouse, of course, loves you for your spiritual beauty, and is used to seeing his wife without makeup and hairstyles. But do you love yourself? In a bathrobe, slippers? So not much. But a woman who loves and respects herself is admired, and not only by her husband, but also by the people around her. Love yourself! Only without narcissism.Always set aside time to go to the hairdresser, use high-quality cosmetics, take care of your body and skin, and take care of your health. The woman who managed to emphasize her naturalness, femininity and individuality is beautiful. And, of course, do not forget that the true beauty of the female soul is reflected in her eyes, where in the depths of a scattering of diamonds shine the ability to love disinterestedly and sincerely, the desire to care and caress, to be a mother, the ability to understand and forgive.
Well, it's not easy to build family relationships, you say. It's true, it's not easy. After all, it is necessary to build not a temporary refuge, but a strong reliable hearth for a long and happy life. But when you have a beloved and loving person with you, all these commandments will be just an opportunity to be there, love and build your happiness brick by brick with every passing day. It doesn’t happen that people get married and everything goes well and smoothly with them.
How many families are collapsing because of the inability to understand each other, to pacify ambitions. And of course, such qualities are a woman's priority. Nature has endowed us with flexibility, gentleness, patience, which is a great female strength. Wisdom comes with our actions, experienced joys and difficulties, with painstaking work on ourselves and our weaknesses. Therefore, everything written above, I, first of all, address to the fair sex.
Although I fully agree that a strong and friendly family is built solely on the principle of reciprocity. Reciprocity of feelings and actions of both spouses. But, as you know, in a family, a woman is a neck, and a man is a head. So, we turn exactly where we need to. So do it wisely, then you will live in happiness and harmony until old age (God forbid).
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